Monday, December 3, 2012

The curse of sincerity...

Honesty is such a lonely word...everyone is so untrue...sings Billy Joel. This song speaks to the heart of many people. It speaks to my heart. It's one of my favorite songs.

I do believe, though, that many people are honest even though the truth may be something else. The human brain does not recall events in a continuous strip of memory. It takes highlights and when it recalls, it pieces them together. Those pieced highlights of memory have gaps in between. The brain then fills in the gaps. Those gaps are filled with the mood, the experiences and the feelings inherent in that person. What you get is honesty-ish.

Then there's sincerity. This one is especially true for me. Honesty is one thing. Sincerity is another. Sincerity is freedom from duplicity. I have difficulty in separating the two. I am transparent.What you see is what you get. My mother insists that this is a flaw. I am not sure yet. This sincerity opens me up like a raw piece of fruit–vulnerable, mushy, sometimes too sweet. I could change that, but I don't want to. Sincerity keeps me alive, feeling the sentiment of the world, responding truthfully. I suppose my mother worries because she fears I will be taken advantage of. It can happen, but I can't worry about what can happen. What someone does to me is between them and God.

My father on the other hand never worries about me. He thinks I am strong, the way bamboo is strong. Flexible, unassuming, enduring strength. My mother's worry is her mother's love for me. My father's confidence is his love for me. They both understand who I am.

I part from the premise that everyone I encounter is honest with me, truthful...sometimes sincere. In a world where people hide who they are, lie to get what they want, and manipulate others, I stay my course. I take what others give me.  Don't confuse my generosity of spirit with gullibility or naivety. I accept who people are the way they are. If someone proves to be a liar, a manipulator or simply cannot be trusted, then I release them from the benefit of my love and friendship, with a blessing and a prayer.  I send them on their way. It's the way I love. It's my sincerity, honestly...

Enjoy the song...

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