Wednesday, April 23, 2014

State of nonresistance

We are listening….learning, centering, filling the well. We are following our intuition, heeding Universal guidance. We are in a state of nonresistance. We have let go in order to grab a hold. We are allowing…

We have been away for a few weeks and will continue our sabbatical for a while longer in order to continue to clear our path, grow, renew and recharge. In the meantime, you may re-read us here. We will keep responding to private messages sent through

Light & Love,

The Soulcerer's Apprentice

©2014 The Soulcerer's Apprentice

Monday, April 14, 2014


Invisible. That is how I felt early this morning. I was completely in ego. Friends are having birthdays without me, people are succeeding and forgetting my contribution and the limelight is being spread on a few, leaving me craving a taste of it. You are great. No, you are great. No, you are…and so it goes between them. And I, I sat here wallowing in a diminished view of myself. Invisible.

I whispered the word, repeatedly…invisible, invisible, invisible. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." Quoted from Antoine de Saint-Exupèry's The Little Prince, this has been one of my favorite quotes for a very long time. I try to remember it when seeing others, yet I never turned it over on myself. I remembered it this morning as I saw myself in my frail, little ego. What is essential, I understood…essential, as in basic, fundamental, absolutely necessary, vitally important, indispensable, completely realized, absolute, perfect…and having no obvious external causes. Invisible, I am. Essential, I am. As I moved from ego to Being, I felt an ataraxia, an emotional tranquility, come over me. I am where I need to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing in the greater scheme.

My path is another. My purpose quite clear. Remembering this gives me peace, and a heartfelt happiness for the birthdays celebrated without me, the success enjoyed by those I appreciate and the limelight shone upon those whose work merits laudation. I observe, as in a ritual–an observance of the fulfilling of purpose all around me.

I struggle with ego several times a day. Today, I moved from ego to essence, to why I am here–a sort of contemplative who, in a contemporary existence–with everything that that entails, finds holiness in all, does each thing with sacredness and prays with her hands as she moves, as she writes, as she creates, as she touches. I honor the visibility in others. I honor the invisibility as well, the essential nature in all of us.

Thursday, April 10, 2014


My eyesight is not what it used to be. I am wearing bifocals now. I know. It feels odd to feel this young and wear bifocals. I only wear them to read and write. While I drive, I wear prescription sunglasses and, whereas before I didn't notice a difference if I didn't wear them, I now do. I can read signs better and see more detail in everything on the road. When I don't wear them, it takes me a minute to make out print, such as in bumper stickers. It happened the other day. I was behind an SUV at a red light when I read this on their back bumper: "I Love Being a Pacemaker". Yes! Me too. Only the bumper sticker said Peacemaker not Pacemaker. Ok. That's cool too, I thought. And although I do like being a peacemaker, I love the idea of setting the pace.

I catch myself sometimes reacting poorly to some situations. I rush, slow down and wait because others are asking me to, either directly or in the way the are going about. They rush, slow down and wait and I pick up their pace. It's madness. This translates into deciding what is important according to others. I hurry to accomplish things that are not on my list of priorities, put my dreams on hold and carry an anxiety that is not mine. That's until I decide to become a pacemaker. I then set my own pace. I fulfill what I commit to in a way that honors what I do, my purpose, my wishes, those I love and who I am. I set the pace for me, without agitation, confusion or anxiety. I suppose in being a pacemaker, I am also making peace.

I watched my son as he rolled his belt in order to put it away, as he calmly picked up his school uniform off the floor and put it in the hamper and then prepare his room serenely before going to bed. I realized that this is how he does everything. He is cool and collected when he does what he doesn't like to do as well as when he enjoys his favorite things. People who have met him do tell me often how peaceful they feel in his presence. This is what he gives off, gentleness, peace, respect for others' time and their priorities. He is never in a hurry, agitated or jumpy and does not make others feel that way. He sets a different pace. I hope to pick this up from him.

Today I calm down enough to know what I have to do and enjoy it.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014


I tried. I tried. I tried again. I didn't fail. I didn't succeed either. I didn't because I didn't do it. I missed out. I missed an opportunity. And now I am thinking that maybe I have missed more. 

Many times we have a wonderful opportunity before us, we can do something we have always wanted to do or maybe we can build upon something great we have done before and we don't. We remain frozen. We procrastinate, find excuses, get sick, get grumpy or get busy doing something else. And then the opportunity passes us by. Why do we do this? We do this because we are afraid. 

We don't go for it, do it or build it because we are afraid to fail, to be judged, to make a mistake. We are afraid we will not meet our own expectations, let alone anyone else's. We fear not doing it perfectly. But that's because we confuse perfectionism with a virtue. It is not. Our purpose does not include a clause of perfection. It only asks that we participate, that we answer our call, that we give what we have. 

What if today we went for it? What if we took that first step and started doing, building, creating without any attachment to a particular result? What if we soften out of our frozen state? What if we then flow and do, build and create to the best of our ability? Better yet. What if we just started to do it just because we like it? What if in doing it we enjoy what we do? And what if the joy of it is the purpose behind it all? 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Hit and run

We think it is healthy to vent, to air our frustrations, to let out what is bothering us. To an extent, it is. Yet there comes a point in which there's a diminishing of benefit to our venting. When we vent, we relive that moment. We bring into the present the incident, the situation or the person that got under our skin. We become addicted to the temporary attention our anger gets us and to the release of energy. We increase our need to vent because we do not know what to do when we feel angry, irritated or upset at another or in certain situations. That energy we release is reactive.

Venting is not only letting out steam with a friend who will listen, but also the blurting out we do at drivers who cut us off in traffic, the blow up we have at the customer service rep on the phone and the spewing unto our spouses, children and other loved ones. Some confuse this with clearing the air. It is not. This is a hit and run. We hit someone else with our annoyances, discontent and anger releasing what bothers us without consideration for any damage and any harm we do. We run, done with the wrecking, leaving behind hostility, bitterness and resentment, a trail of anguish and negativity. We feel better (momentarily), leaving mayhem behind.

We need to strengthen our emotional core, to center ourselves in such a way that when we get angry, we do not act out of anger. When we go within, we find satisfaction and we don't look for it in the reaction of those who listen to our grievances. Within, we find stability, acceptance and connectedness. We also find, as we practice silence and stillness, new ways of seeing people and circumstances. We find calmness and a relaxation of strong emotions. We lose the need to rant, scold and be verbally violent. Today is a good day to be aware of the energy we leave behind for it affects others and what they, in turn, leave behind.

Monday, April 7, 2014

I can't imagine

We were having a random conversation in the car. My son asks me what my super-power would be if I could have one. I got curious so I asked him what his would be. Teleportation. Wow. I can't imagine that, but he can. And that is an exciting thought, for if he can imagine it, he can make it happen. 

Imagination. That's where it all starts. All the great inventions, the greatest poetry, the most magnificent creations, the awe-inspiring works of art, the most dramatic buildings, the most captivating pieces of music began in someone's imagination. Light bulbs, the Ferris Wheel, X-Rays, To Kill a Mockingbird, the Guggenheim in Barcelona, the Beloved Woman of the Cherokee, e-readers, pacemakers, and violins are all amazing things that began as no-things, imagined in someone's mind. 

We busy our minds with thoughts of impossibility, worry, failure, difficulty and fear and then we wonder why we are not creating, producing, or achieving what we want. With our mind focused on something else, it cannot tune into possibility nor synchronicity and we are not able to recognize opportunities and resources.

If we want to build something, write something, paint something, compose something or create anything we must entertain those thoughts. We must paint a clear picture in our minds of what we want. We must imagine. The word imagine comes from the old French imaginer–to sculpt, carve, paint. How poetic. It means to form a mental image, a mental picture of oneself. Can you imagine that? 

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Back to reality

We took a few days off. We left school, work, assignments, projects, deadlines. We left it all here, hopped in the car and headed for the beach. We had a blast. We played, we relaxed, we unwound.

When we came back, I headed straight for the grind. Thankfully, I caught myself just in time, just before I voided the whole getaway. I am not all work, all business, all responsibility, all commitments. I am also not all leisure, all recreation, all rest, all pleasure, all calm. I am all those things, all the time. It is the way I function best–when I don't compartmentalize myself.

Getting away means shifting one way to center myself. Back to reality means shifting another way...all around the same center to create balance. My reality is that I am one whole being. I can't leave anything behind. What I can do, through meditation, is learn to be present to whatever is happening at the moment. When I am present I enjoy everything I do. Everything makes sense. I find purpose in what I do. I learned out of this experience that coming back to reality can bring me as much excitement as going away on vacation.

Take a moment to breathe and feel this instant. Close your eyes. Feel the air on your skin, the sounds around you, the temperature, the weight of your body. When you open your eyes, smile as you look around you. Become awake to this moment. Bring this awareness to everything you do. This is your reality. You can't escape it. But, by being present, you can enjoy it.