Friday, May 27, 2016

Potluck

Today is one of those days. The week weighs heavy, there's still so much to do, and all I want to do is lay in bed. It's a shared feeling. Many of us are complaining. The energy is slow and heavy. We are tired, we are bored, we are stressed. I hear it. I say it, too. This is what we are sharing. Yet, I am not coming out of this funk by complaining. The more I whine, the more I feel it. I am not helping others either. I feel the negativity and pessimism. But then I ask, what am I bringing?

Today is a good day to bring something else, something other than our feelings about what is wrong, what has us run-down, overworked, overtaxed, burned out, tense, anxious, sick, and worried. This is a potluck in which we share a bit of what we all bring. I'd like to have something uplifting, morale-boosting, inspiring, hopeful, fun, and encouraging.

I realize that once we are in a funk, it is not that easy to put on a smile and change our mood. But there is a way of changing our mood subtly, but surely. We do so by shifting our attention from what is wrong to what we are thankful for. Let us pick something we are grateful for, anything, and focus on that. Let us change our energy and bring that with us. Let us share something good.

Image found at daisyyellowart.com.
© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

It's a boy!

I have learned so much through my son. When I was 26 weeks pregnant, about 15 years ago, the doctor asked if I wanted to know, boy or girl? I said, sure. He then showed me two little legs on the image on the sonogram monitor's screen and this in between, he said, is a penis. It turns out that hospital policy didn't allow him to actually say boy or girl. He also couldn't point to a congenital halo of wisdom, an aura of patience, equanimity and understanding that my son would be born with.

I was overjoyed. It's a boy! It's a boy! It's a boy! To know he was a boy was to name him, to relate to him, to start to know him. When he was born, he was considerate, kind, and soft-spoken. He still is. He teaches without preaching. He just is. And it is in being who he is that I learn the biggest lessons.

In learning that he was a boy, I started thinking about everything I wanted to teach him, the ideas I wanted to pass on to him, what I wanted for his life. Yet, he is teaching me to see him, to really see him, without putting my interpretation of him on him, my aspirations, and my hopes. He is also teaching me to see others the same way, without judgment, preconceived notions, and expectations. My relationships are so much richer for it. In allowing others to be and not demanding that they fill my expectations, I am delighted by what I find in them and amazed by what I receive from them.

He's a boy. No, now he's a young man. As I think about this I think about how tempting it is to fill a list of presumptions, of a certain protocol to life that a boy, a young man, a girl, a young woman, a man, or a woman, must satisfy. This, however, creates pressure on people, the one expected from and the one with the expectations, and it can strain relationships. Seeing others as they are allows for deeper understanding and harmony in our interactions and relationships and yields a more rewarding exchange. Today is a good day to see others without our wants, needs and conditions before our eyes. Let us see others the way they are. Let us see others and not our thoughts about them. What gems, what light, what new insight might we discover by doing so. Let us be surprised, let us free ourselves of the heaviness of our thoughts about others and feel ease by seeing them as they really are.

Image found at colormedecals.com.

© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.


Friday, May 20, 2016

Bad thoughts, bad luck?

We live in a time in which positive thinking and positive psychology are widespread, common and popular. Combined with ideas about how our thoughts create our reality, we may become troubled by automatic thoughts that are negative, worrisome, critical, and anxious, afraid that these thoughts may jinx us somehow, change our luck or doom us. This is not true, just as positive thoughts alone will not bring us out of an unlucky streak.

Fear not. Our negative, fearful, angry, and distressed thoughts do not suddenly turn into reality. For that to happen we need to involve our feelings, emotions, thoughts and behavior in a consistent way.

When we find ourselves in a funk and can't seem to break our negative or pessimistic thought patterns, we can help ourselves by performing an act of kindness or generosity. Anything we do that is contrary to those thoughts will short-circuit that energy and change its direction. Deep cleansing breaths can help us too by clearing the fog and allowing us to choose other thoughts, feelings, emotions and behaviors.

We can also add journaling to our daily practices. Journaling is a great way to release what we are afraid of, worry about, makes us angry, disappoints us, hurts us, offends us and causes us mental pressure in a safe place in which we are not judged.

Today is a good day to let our negative thoughts be. Let us acknowledge them and let them go. Our thoughts our not our commands until we add intention, heart, passion, energy and action to them. Breathe. All is well.
Image licensed through graphicstock.com.
© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Cannonball

There is a Russian idiom that translates into "To shoot out of cannon into sparrows". I thought about this today as I angrily pondered whether to post on my son's school blog how frustrating it is to communicate with any of their personnel in the administrative offices. I have been waiting for over three weeks for a return call regarding a duplicate charge made on my credit card. I have left several messages. I thought that since they will not return my calls, a post on the school's blog would force their response. These public displays of frustration get reactions from school personnel, especially if they have to do with finances. I am glad I thought better, though, and didn't display my anger and dissatisfaction. My son has another four years in this school. If I cannonball my way to get a response, I may do more damage than good.

To shoot out of cannon into sparrows is to destroy, to do collateral damage that may ultimately ruin any solution or other possibility.

Knowing ourselves, understanding ourselves, opening up our perceptions, aligning our values and beliefs with our thoughts and actions helps us to respond congruently, lessening our angry and hurtful reactions to situations in our lives. We achieve this congruence through mindful practices and meditation. We reach clarity of thought. We reach congruence. We develop deeper intuition and understanding. Our reactions are minimized and our responses are equable, even-tempered.

When we shoot out of a cannon, such as when we scream at our children, bully or shame others into doing what we want, force issues to get a particular result, venomously manipulate or lie, coerce, physically break or throw things to make a point, and other rough and hostile reactions, we destroy relationships, our surroundings, and our bodies, and possibilities for solutions, creation and healing.

Today is a good day to take a few minutes to focus on our breath, in silence. Just a few minutes today. We can do it again tomorrow. And then the day after. Let us create a habit of quietly going within. Meditation will help us respond proportionately to perceived grievances, reach a level of equilibrium, and a healthier state for our bodies, minds and relationships.

Image found at creativeartstudio.com.

© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Friday, May 13, 2016

Good old times

We need to go back to a time when things were simpler, when values were different, when we did things a different way. I have heard many versions of this statement from different people in response to or as part of a conversation on today's version of the world. The focus is on crime, family values, diversity, social media, kids growing up too fast, rampant drug use and more of today's woes. I have surprised some people when they have asked me if I agree. I don't. I don't think going back fixes whatever it is we think is wrong with the world today.

Change is. (Read: Change is period.) It is. It's constant, inevitable and necessary. Our resistance to it stunts our growth and makes us miserable. Yearning for a good feeling we had in the past keeps us stuck and keeps us from doing something in the present. We have created our present world with every decision we have made in the past. Going back does not guarantee us peace and wellbeing. But making decisions that will transform us into the best versions of ourselves can transform our communities into better, more peaceful, open-minded, humane, generous, kind, empathetic, and compassionate, positive action-filled reflections of what we want the world to be. The decisions we make begin where we are now. Memories are good, but we are not there any longer. We can only begin where we are. We can only begin with what we have now.

Today is a good day acknowledge what is, what we have and where we are. The past we seek no longer exists. The good old times can be the good now present. Let us bring our minds and our spirits here, this moment, in gratitude, awareness and hope. Let us do good, here, now.


© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Zoom out

When I looked in the mirror and realized what I had done, it was too late. I had over-plucked my eyebrows. I now had eyebrows from the 1920's and looked like Mommy Dearest after filling them in with brow powder. This is what happens when you look at yourself in a 10x magnifying mirror. We see wrinkles, hair where it shouldn't be, freckles we hadn't noticed, spots on our skin, things that normally don't bother us because they are part of a bigger picture. We see all this hair to be plucked out, only to notice it wasn't that bad once we zoom out. We also see that that hair had a purpose.

And so it with situations in our life. We make decisions based on what we zoom into without considering other factors. We focus on what we are feeling at the moment, on an inconvenience, a let-down, a deal gone bad, a moment of bad luck, a missed opportunity, a mistake we've made, misunderstandings. We also focus on a good time, what seems to be a great opportunity, a bargain on an investment, feelings of infatuation, an exciting idea. We miss the forest for the trees. We make choices that clash with our dreams, goals, relationships, wellbeing, and our life's work.

Today is a good day to zoom out and see the interplay between what we consider good and bad, easy and difficult, hairy and barely-there. Let us not react emotionally to what is happening in the moment. Let us step back and see the whole picture. We can then see the purpose, meaning, and proportions of the elements in our life. This allows us to make choices that are congruent with our whole being and the totality of our experience. Let us zoom out and see that it all looks better that way.

Image found at capekaleidoscopes.com.
© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Summer is coming

Around here, we throw this phrase around often. At our home, summer is coming means we plan for tighter writing schedules, stash summer survival food, plan for movies we've wanted to watch, make plans with friends and family, and plan our vacation and summer travel, among other things.

For me, though, summer is coming is less defined, more subtle, and very certain. The light comes in through the windows a bit sooner each day, a bit brighter. It stays longer, too. The light is coming in earlier each morning making everything vivid, joyful, worthwhile. But the light has come, I remind myself. Regardless of what the sun is doing this time of the year, I want to remember that the light has come. It is here throughout the year, throughout time. As summer approaches and days get complicated, we get complicated, down even. Remembering that the light has come means that this too shall pass – the early mornings, the long hours, the overwhelming schedules, the constant mending of misunderstandings, the deadlines, the endless to-do list, the short tempers. The light has come means that all is well, in spite of what our senses and our moods tell us. The light reminds me: all of our blessings come with responsibilities, it is all good, Love is here, Bounty is here, we are on purpose. The light has come means we are loved, guided and protected, always.

Summer is coming. But the light has already come.


"The light has come." ~ A Course in Miracles, Lesson 75

Image found at bethsawickie.com. 
© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.