It's time... let go.

We let go because something, someone or a situation does not serve us well impeding our our ability to grow, to be happy, to be healthy, to prosper, to fulfill our dharma, to live our dreams, to love and be loved. When we let go, we take steps to release our mental and emotional binds on that which we are moving on from. We go through our emotions, the stages of grief, necessary action and change our thoughts in order to change our circumstances. We know how to let go. What we don't know many times is when to let go. 

The time to let go is when we keep making the same mistakes, repeat the same attitudes, ask ourselves the same questions over and over, echo the same dissatisfaction on a daily basis. The time to let go is when we scream on the inside this has to stop!, I can't stand this!, I hate this! I want to be happy! I can't go on like this! The time to let go is when we wake up angry and frustrated at life each morning. The time to let go is when we try to convince ourselves of the opposite because we are afraid of uncertainty. 

When we get to this point, it's time to let Spirit take over. Otherwise, we will worsen our circumstances because when we are this angry and frustrated, we operate out of fear, desperation and ego. We become blind to the possibilities–those which we can't see from our vulnerable states.

Today may be your time to let go. At any moment you have the opportunity to choose differently. If you are feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to breathe and on the exhale, let it go, let it all go. Trust that the Universe knows what you are feeling. It just needs your permission to proceed on your behalf. It's time...let go. 

Receiving

It is a spiritual principle that giving begets receiving. Many of us are practicing the art of giving in beautiful and creative ways. I see it everyday. Giving what we want for ourselves is the best way of receiving what we want for ourselves. And although many of us give without that expectation, the principle still applies. If we want joy, we give joy to others. If we want material abundance, we give either money or opportunities to make money to others. If we want time with loved ones, we give our time.

Yet, do we know how to receive? Some of us–out of modesty, humility or a sense that we don't want to inconvenience someone–inadvertently stop the flow of goodness when we don't receive. Receiving is just as important as giving. It is part of the circle. Receiving enables us to give.

When we receive, we don't only receive material goods, money or other things of value. We also receive appreciation, compliments, affection, time, love, kind words, blessings and thoughtful gestures. If we don't receive, then we break the circle. It is important that we receive so that we may continue to share. The reciprocity comes to us from the Universe.

I am learning to receive. Today I got more than my fair share, for sure. I received from many sources and in many ways. I am so thankful. Today is a good day for all of us to receive gratefully. When someone gives you a compliment, smile and say thank you. If someone offers to do something nice for you, accept it. There is karmic action in what that person is doing for you. Do not interrupt it. Don't take that away from them. Whatever it is that you will receive today, receive it.

Feeling through the dark...

It's three in the morning. About thirty minutes ago my son woke me up. He wasn't feeling well. It's a migraine. I was holding him for a few minutes, softly kissing his forehead, when he asked me for medicine. Poor thing. How bad does a kid have to feel to ask for medicine? I knew I couldn't turn a light on in my room because it would make him feel worse. So I laid him next to me, tucked him in my bed and, in the dark, crawled out of bed feeling my way through with my hands, feet and my memory. On my hands and knees I crossed my bedroom floor in the pitch dark to get to my purse. I reached in and found my pill box. I have several pills in it–vitamins, a decongestant, papaya capsules, hyaluronic acid and ibuprofen. I carefully felt each pill until I found what I was looking for. I had to do this blindly and faithfully. I was giving my son a pill I couldn't see in the dark.

To face our darkest moments, we sometimes have to go on our hands and knees. This physical and metaphorical posture gives us stability while our world seems to rock around us. It also gives us a sense of closeness to ourselves, to our inner selves, to our real selves. It is a form of surrendering. Inching our way through in the dark, a quiet courage grows within us helping us find what we are looking for. In our darkest moments, our memory of who we are and where we came from becomes the spark that lights from within the path of hope. As I sit here in the darkest part of this night, I remember darker moments still that I have overcome. I blindly felt through them until the morning came.

In the dark, we not only feel our way around our physical space with our hands, we feel our emotional and spiritual way through with our hearts. We feel anger, resentment, our aching hearts, confusion, frustration, pain and fear. When facing our darkest moments, we also face the choices we have made up to that moment. In the dark, we see ourselves more clearly. We become vulnerable and willing to see differently–and that's when transformation takes place, that's when the light enters the dark, that's when miracles happen.

Today is a good day to surrender to the sadness, the loss, the uncertainty. Do not give into it, just surrender it, do not resist it. It is in this hour that you are most loved and protected. Let go and rest in the knowledge that the sun will break this night.

What dreams may come...

I love reading. Wait, that's not true. I loooooooove reading. I am constantly reading. I went on a date last night and my date was surprised that I was able to pull out two books out of my purse. Hey, you never know when you will be stuck in traffic, waiting too long or just bored with whatever is going on. I always carry a book (or two) with me. We started to talk about e-readers, iBooks, Kindle or Nook? We both have all three. He prefers the electronic version of any book. I, on the other hand, prefer the paper and ink kind, especially before going to sleep. The light in the e-reader activates the brain, even in the X-Ray mode in Kindle, which makes getting to full resting state take longer. It affects our ability to sleep.

I am very careful about what I read, what I do or what I think about right before going to sleep. Whatever I do at this time feeds my subconscious mind and my subconscious mind never sleeps. While I sleep, it takes what I have fed it and creates thoughts, possibilities and ideas. If my thoughts have been positive ones, my subconscious mind continues down that path of thought. If my thoughts have been negative, my subconscious mind will continue down that path as well. It has a tremendous effect on the energy I wake up with, on my feelings and capacity towards what I want to make happen in my life and on my general outlook. 

Have you had a dream in which the solution to a problem is revealed to you? That is the power of the subconscious mind. I have woken up with a feeling that I had an amazing vacation-like time. My body feels relaxed in the morning. I have also woken up from a dream and known what to do in a situation I didn't know what to do in before. 

Tonight is a good night to relax before going to sleep. Make a conscious effort to focus on a question you may have, a desire, something you wish to accomplish or a simple, positive mantra. Do not ruminate on what went wrong today or on the problems you see in your life. Give your mind something positive and beautiful to work with and then experience what dreams may come. 

Silence...

There was a time when silence made me uncomfortable. Thoughts would flood my mind and make me anxious and uneasy. If I was having a conversation with someone and there was a gap, I would fill the silence with anything. Silence was awkward.

In silence I saw all my inadequacies, my limitations, my frailties, my failures. Yet it wasn't the silence that made me see myself that way, it was the noise. The noise clouds the truth with a million and one versions of it. Beyond the noise I recognize my Self and find a sense of it's all ok, a sense of peace.

Through meditation I have made peace with silence and I have found peace in silence. I have found peace within. It doesn't take much to get there. A moment of silence, a release of control and an acceptance of the moment as it is. In conversation with others, I find that we say much more in the gaps of silence between the words, in our body language, in our eye contact, in the thoughts we hold for and between each other, but we don't say with our words. I no longer fill the silence with chatter. I listen to the quietness.

There is a force in silence that is very powerful. In silence, thoughts become cohesive, they start making sense, things sort themselves out, answers become clear, the truth is laid out for us. In silence, Spirit has a chance to speak to us. Hunches, gut feelings, intuition and clarity become stronger, sharpened and more readily accessible to us. In silence we recharge to take on the world, we find strength, calmness and power.

In silence we are able to see everything, listen to everything, find everything, love everything, sense everything, know everything, understand everything. In silence we are. It is the silence between the notes that makes the music and it is the silence between the words that makes us.

Today is a good day to notice silence around you, to feel it, to drop your resistance to it, to be still in it, to look and listen in it without thought or judgment. When words are not enough, silence is.

In conclusion...

©2013 The Soulcerer's Apprentice

I have a nagging feeling that I left something undone. Or maybe it was something I didn't say. I am not sure. It is that feeling that I didn't really finish something, or end a relationship, or wrote what I needed to write, or helped as much as I could or taught everything I knew. I have that feeling of incompletion that lingers in us when we don't understand our purpose.

This feeling is paralyzing. When we feel this way we stop in our tracks and we don't move forward until we know the reason behind what happened. We become afraid of taking the next step until we understand. Yet it is taking that step that will lead us into knowing. I have learned that there is not always a conclusion, but an evolving into the next moment, the next lesson, the next undertaking, the next love, the next possibility.

If we are clear on our purpose, then we know instinctively what to do and when to leave. There's not necessarily a conclusion, but a phasing into the next path to follow. Our inner compass points the way. Today is a good day to let go of the what ifs, let go of any situation in which we are not growing or in which we have served our purpose and continue on our life's journey.

Rain...

It's an awe-inspiring morning. The sky seems painted by God's own hand. There are subtle clouds standing by, letting the sun shine through. The breeze blows softly letting us know that Spirit embraces us, that we are not alone.

For the past few weeks, this beautiful island I live in has been drenched by rain almost every day. When it rains, I remember the amazing gift of opportunity, of the chance to begin again. When it thunders I feel alive, I feel the power of extraordinary creation. The magic of rain, thunder and lightning comes through in inspiration to write, to do something better, to love more intensely, to forgive, to be alive with all my senses.

Yet I realize that for some, the rain evokes sadness. I have felt that way too. A few days ago, during my morning drive, gray clouds hung in the sky. They went from ashy-white to dark gray. I didn't feel the joy, until I noticed that each was lined in silver and that behind those clouds, there was the sun. I remembered that it will not always rain, it doesn't always rain.

As I sip my coffee, enjoying the tender warmth of the break of day, I drink it all in–the coffee, the light, the gentle wind, the vibrant colors of this canvas, the birdsong, the stillness of the water I sit by. I have a feeling that it will rain again. Yet this moment recharges me. I am ready. My wish is that rain becomes a source of joy and inspiration for you.

Today is a good day to remember those who are sad and lift them up in our hearts sending them light, love and hope. May they see the silver lining and feel the breeze of Spirit that joins us all.

This is your life...

For years I lived as a closeted-writer. I have since come out. Everyone knows my textual preferences now. When it comes to writing, I don't struggle anymore. When I sit to write, I write. Opportunities are opening up, slowly and surely. This is my life...now.

When I was in the closet, I kept wishing for this day to come. I used to daydream about writing for a living and then, as I glanced to my life then, all sorts of confusion, frustration and sadness set in. If only I could write, if only this, if only that, my life could start. I didn't realize that my life had started. I just wasn't paying attention. Whatever was happening at the moment was life.

What I learned during the years that I spent wishing for another career, for another place to live, for another reality is invaluable. I didn't understand that there was a lesson in every experience. If I had been more aware, I probably would have struggled less and arrived here sooner.

We need to experience in order to learn. In that order. We will go through what we need to go through until we learn patience, discipline, honesty, appreciation for others, work ethic, communication, sharing, self-control, respect, kindness, our purpose, courage, the power of thoughts, our connection to Spirit and to each other or whatever it is that we need to learn in order to grow and move forward. The intensity of each experience will depend on the intensity of the lesson and on our willingness to participate fully in life.

Today is a good day to be thankful for whatever is going on in your life. Meditate on what is happening. Learn, grow, share, do no harm. Live each moment with all of your senses. This is your life. The sooner you live it, wholeheartedly, the sooner it becomes more the life you wish for. This is your life...

I love Mondays...

I have so much planned for this week. There's so much that I am looking forward to. My agenda is packed with meetings, events and activities. For each day of the week, I already have a to-do list. With so much going on, I take it easy on Monday morning...and I enjoy every bit of it. 

On mornings like this one, I take it slow. I meditate for a bit longer. I listen to the silence of the morning as it warms up with the sounds of our busy lives. I set my intention for the week and align myself to Spirit. I receive Monday as the gift that it is. I receive it with an openness that ripens me to receive guidance, joy, inspiration and time. Mondays are full of promise. I see myself creating, producing, collaborating and living life fully. I am already thankful for the opportunities that will present themselves this week. These feelings of  gratitude and appreciation carry forward to the rest of the days allowing me to take charge of what I have committed to and of my time. 

Today is a good day to appreciate that it's Monday, that whatever we intend for ourselves, we will manifest, that as the days end, new ones begin and with that a new opportunity to choose a fresh point of view and to choose to give our best for that is what makes the difference in our experience. Let's not be part of the I-hate-Mondays bandwagon for Monday will hate us right back. Let's love Monday...

Our time together...

I drove my son to school a few mornings ago following our usual morning routine. We were both quiet. I sipped my coffee while he ate dry cereal from a plastic cup. My sipping, his chewing broke the silence–it broke our communication. Although we were not speaking, we were communicating. Our morning drive is a special time for us. We glance at each other and smile, we'll hold hands, I caress the back of his head, every now and then he picks up my hand and kisses it. Sometimes we will even talk, but our communication never ceases.

To be present in our relationships means to bring our full awareness to the time and the space we share with another. Communication is shared in full eye contact, listening to both spoken and body language, a tender touch, an affectionate tone of voice, light and love shared in silence. Being still, aware, present says to the other you matter to me.

Today is a good day to bring your full attention to your relationships. Let go of of any thoughts that take you away from this moment you share with someone who matters. Let go of your phone, your tablet, the newspaper, the tv. Make time and be there during your time together. It is an act of love.

A bikini and a tooth brush...

I went away for a few days. I packed a bikini, my toothbrush...and six books, a pen and my notebook. The essentials.

I did add a few more things to my bag, just in case. I got in my car and off I went in the other direction of reality.

When I got to paradise I went to look for my bikini. I should have been able to reach into my bag and pull it out, but I had to go through a layer of shoes...then shirts...a pair of jeans...a dress, or two–just in case...shorts...a sarong...oh boy! How much did I really need to carry? Yet, isn't this what we do? We layer too much stuff over what we need. In fact, we layer over our essential state with veils of roles we assume, attitudes, fears, insecurity, inflexible beliefs, misguided thoughts and our ego.

Deep within is who we really are...and what we really need. We spend so much time and effort laying it on, that we weigh ourselves down and lose ourselves along the way. Today is a good day to start going through those layers. Maybe we leave one behind. Maybe we leave two. Let's be brave and go with a little less then a little more...a little less stuff and fewer layers, then a little more of us. Let's trust that sometimes a bikini and a tooth brush is all we need...

Loving no...

I have a tendency to say yes to everything. Where there's a need, I want to meet it. If someone needs help, I will help. I've never perceived this as a problem. On the contrary, I see it as my purpose and as a way to thank the Universe for everything it has blessed me with. Yet, lately, I've noticed that I am off center. Something is not right. I am not connected as before.

Recently a good friend turned the tables on me. She is an extremely talented writer with many engagements. She writes, she lectures, she teaches and does much more. She gets many requests for help and she almost always says yes. It is taking a toll on her time and energy, on her ability to meet her commitments and her goals. As we talked about her situation, I explained to her that there is a way of helping others without losing herself in the process. This will depend on the circumstances and the people involved, but she need not be overwhelmed with self-imposed obligation.  There is a way of loving others and saying no. She kindly smiled and said you do the same thing with your friendship, you give it until you are drained. You just don't complain.

Huh?

I see. I learned something during our conversation. When I say yes to some, I say no to others. I say no to new opportunities, to growth, to time for myself, to time for learning, to meditation for I stay in a spiral of problem-solving for others, of absorbing their energy, their negativity, their inability to rise to their potential. I have to start saying no–a loving no.

In my friend's case, a loving no means she helps others with her example of leadership and volunteer work and the literary world with her contribution. In my case a loving no means releasing those who drain my love and energy to find their way. It's loving them and saying no.

I have been disconnected, off-center, misaligned. It has nothing to do with me. I have been carrying the weight of others–their sadness, their frustration, their unawareness. I am not able to do anything with this. I am only able to overcome for myself, not others. While I carry this weight, I lose sight of my North and am not really able to be a good friend to them or to others. Loving no. A loving release.

Could you love and say no? Today is a good day to reprioritize and view your friendships and your commitments through the eyes of love. Maybe, the next time you have to answer a request, your answer will be a loving no...

Hoarding

I went to a Wendy's restaurant a few days ago in an emergency. I wanted coffee, badly, and someone told me that theirs is pretty good. (It is. At least where I live. They have a particular brand and a particular espresso machine that makes a nice froth. The coffee was delicious, but I digress.) After I paid for my coffee I tried the napkin holder for a napkin, but there was none. I noticed that there were no spoons, no straws and no condiments in their holders either. I went to the counter to ask for napkins and, out of curiosity, asked the manager why there were none where there should be. People hoard, he said.

We do hoard. Yet it's not only napkins and ketchup packets from restaurants that we hoard. We hoard material things, feelings, attitudes, ideas, knowledge, attention, peace, loving thoughts, recognition and blessings. We feel that if we accumulate we are protecting ourselves from not having in the future. Yet when we hold back, we stop the flow of goodness. We are also telling the Universe that we have all we need. The Universe mirrors your attitude towards money, health, love and whatever abundance is for you. 

Giving creates harmony, but we must do so wanting to participate in the flow–with good intentions and a joyful heart. The intention with which we give makes a difference. If we give gladly, we will continue to enjoy opportunities to give. If we give grudgingly, the flow of abundance stops because we don't enjoy giving. Our supply then becomes limited. Our intention has the power to transform because the attitude behind our giving is contagious. Our intention has the power to create miracles, a ripple of giving that starts with one act of kindness.

The the secret to not having to hoard lies in the measure in which we share. We receive what we give, abundantly. If you want to understanding, understand. If you want love, love. If you want appreciation, appreciate. If you want help, help. If you want material abundance, share what you have and help others achieve material abundance.


Today is a good day to trust that what you need will be available to you when you need it. Share what you have, what you know, kind thoughts, your hands, your wit, your time and everything that is valuable that you can give–creating goodwill, opening up room in your physical environment and in your heart to keep receiving and telling the Universe that you want to give. The Universe will keep giving to you. Your Source knows what you need. Release your worry. You are loved, protected...and provided for.

Déjà vu

Déjà vu, that feeling that you've been somewhere before, that's what some experiences feel like to us. I felt that way yesterday morning on my way back to my office. There's an intersection I cross that I am prejudiced against. Every morning, as I approach it, my body cringes. I just know there are going to be rude drivers carelessly cutting their way through with their cars, making me and other drivers slam on our breaks. Anyone crossing this intersection comes out in a bad mood, I'm sure. Every morning, everything flows just right until I get to this part of my drive. Why? Why me?

Oh, boo-hoo. Let me cry myself a river. Why? Why me? I know why.

The Universe provides us with experiences to bring out the best in us. Experiences will repeat themselves until we learn our lesson and react differently. I kept this thought in mind as I approached the intersection and then added a deep breath, a big smile, good music and thoughts of the amazing things that are in store for the day ahead...I let those in a hurry make their way in front and silently blessed them. I was thankful that I was not in such a hurry. Before I realized it, I was on the other side...literally and figuratively.

When we keep going through the same thing over and over, we have an opportunity to grow, to master, to remember, to respond rather than react, to change our circumstances. My experience in traffic is a mild example. There are more important issues that arise for us. Which is it for you? Is it financial troubles? Is it that you are taken advantage of at work? Is it the wrong romantic relationships showing up? Is it missed business opportunities? Is it discord in your family? Is it health issues?

Today is a good day to think differently about whatever keeps showing up in your life. Choosing to react in the same way will net you the same results you have been getting. Decide that you will respond in a new way with an open mind and a willingness to see things differently. Relinquish your ego. The Universe will then provide you with new and different experiences.

Reconnecting with your essence

A few days ago, on my way to a workshop, I stopped at a big chain office supply store to scan and photocopy materials for the participants. The workshop's instructor and I planned to have breakfast before the store opened, then go there, make our copies and be in the classroom well before start time. Time was on our side. Yet, the restaurant staff where we were having breakfast at had no idea about our plan. They were slow in getting our food ready. We got delayed. The staff at the copy place was also not concerned about our plan. So when machine after machine started to malfunction, the clerk took his time fixing them. We got delayed, again. We got delayed past class start time.

The instructor, who is also my friend, is very responsible and was anxious and stressed by now. We are both type A personalities. You can imagine the tension in the car when we were finally on our way to class. I broke the silence. All this meditation has had an effect on days like this and out of my lips I heard: It's going to be fine. I had called the students on my cell phone from the store and let them know we were delayed. No problem, they said. I kept my cool. My friend became calm too. I made my mind up not to arrive frantic, but with a welcoming smile. In silence, my friend chose to as well. By the time we arrived, students were gathered under the shade of a tree getting to know each other. All was well. 

A rush of gratitude came over me. I felt in touch with every person there. I felt connected to my Source. There was a sense of joy and positivity all around me.

Reconnecting to our essence is a matter of allowing things to fall into place. Nothing big nor any major event needs to happen for us to connect to Spirit. Reconnecting happens in understated ways, in small acts of letting go of anger, fear and judgment, in acts of kindness, in harmony, unity and inclusion, in acting gently. You know you are aligning with your Source because of the peace and tranquility you feel in your mind and in your body in the moment and because the result of events and circumstances turn out fine. This is the Universe returning to you what you offer. 

Reconnecting with the essence of who you are is a matter of flowing without ego, of trusting that everything will settle in line with your actions and your intentions which stem from your inner self. Once reconnected with your essence, your mind becomes easy, calm, with less stress and your emotions are tempered. 

Today is a good day not to fret over the small stuff, to trust that whatever is happening at this moment is ok. Let it happen. Everything will fall into place. 

I doubt it

Doubt, that lack of belief in what we know, gets in the way of our decision making. Doubt obstructs our view. When we doubt, we look outside of ourselves for answers basing any choices we make on the approval and the acceptance of others.

Some choices are easy. Others, not so much. Some require technical knowledge and specificity, but once we have information it is up to us to make a decision. Constantly seeking more information or the opinion of others tends to overwhelm us and increase our uncertainty. On the other hand, making crucial decisions when we are in doubt is not the best idea. Holding off then may be the best thing.

Holding off making decisions when we are in doubt allows us to expand on what we know and to go over our choices more carefully. Yet holding off can also cause us to stagnate and then lead us to make rash decisions. We must find the right time to make our choice.

Once we decide on anything, the Universe starts the ball rolling in support of our choice.

I made a choice a few nights ago I had been holding off on making. I still don't know if it was right or not. But I know that beyond what I see, there are actions on the way to uphold my decision. Whether it was right or not, I will know and I will have a chance to make another choice under the new circumstances. Today is a good day to choose even if you have doubts for if it turns out to be the wrong decision, the Universe will provide you with opportunities to choose again born out of your intentions and the lessons your must learn. Doubt many things, but do not doubt your capacity to know the answer. We were created with the with a well of knowledge we just have to tap into. Go within to find your answer. Go within to banish your doubt.

Lessons in love

I am The Soulcerer's Apprentice. Big title. Simple definition. All this means is that I am forever a student of enlightenment. As a student of enlightenment, I learn and I share what I learn for none of the wisdom I come across is mine nor mine to keep.

Although I have developed certain habits that help me stay in tune with Spirit and in this learning path, I have recently forgotten some of the lessons I've learned. For instance, I have a fever. I've been thinking about it–my fever. Yet I only mentioned it out loud days after it started. I ignored dealing with it while still thinking about it instead of going within to figure out what was happening. I kept working and pushing myself, not honoring my body nor my spirit. There was no physical cause for my fever so I knew that something else was going on and I was reluctant to see it. There was either a spiritual or an emotional component to my fever.

I took a moment, and then another. I took a day, and then another. In those moments and in those days I reconnected through prayer and meditation. In prayer and meditation I remembered my Self. My fever lifted after I cleared the air of what was hurting me. After a few weeks of illness and disorientation, I am on the path I had been walking.

I forgot to live from a place of love–going back to old patterns of thought and behavior, ignoring commitments I had made to myself, addressing issues from ego. I got lost. Yet love rescued me. It rescues me every time–love from family, love from friends, love from all around, Love. I am thankful for this fever. It cracked my soul just enough to let Love in.

It's over. Now let go...

This one goes out to a reader who reached out to us in sadness. Her relationship is now over, officially. The break-up was ceremonial because the relationship had been dead for a while. Yet now, she is heartbroken.

I feel her pain as she tells me her story. The reasons behind the breaking of her relationship are no longer important, I tell her. Both she and her ex are clear that there will be no reconciliation. The only thing to do now is to move on. But first, she must decide that she wants to. This sounds obvious, but many people do not want to let go. Before healing a broken heart, you must decide that you want to get over it–the relationship, the breakup, the pain.

Once you decide that you want to heal, take a few steps to help yourself. Vent, but do not talk about what happened over and over again. Reflect on the lessons to learn from the experience, but do not mull over the relationship or its ending. Release any regrets you may have. Then forgive your ex and yourself. Forgiveness is key. Take time to reconnect and rediscover who you are. End all contact with your ex and create new habits to replace the routines you created together.

It is also important to feel it–feel, cry and grieve the end. Go through the shock, the denial, the pain, the guilt and the anger. Feel your feelings. All feelings are valid. Just don't dwell on them. If you feel you are depressed, then seek professional help. When you feel your feelings through, there is a shift from denial to acceptance as you refocus from the past, to the present and hope for the future.

Many of us get attached to the identity we have forged as part of a couple. This is the ego's mindset. When you break up, you do not lose your identity. You remain the same beautiful spirit housed within your body. Do not allow your ego to dominate your thoughts. Remember who you are.

Be patient with yourself as you go through this process. This is not easy. Yet I urge you to trust the process and its timing. If you hurry it, you will not heal. If you take too long, the healing becomes more difficult and takes longer. During the process you will stumble along the way. It's ok. Steady your footing when this happens and continue the journey towards healing.

Focus on the facts and not your feelings. Do not romanticize your ex or the relationship. When the pain surfaces, breathe through it and remember that it will pass. Focus on this moment, on your breath and the nurturing and healing the Universe provides you.

Today is a good day to accept that it's over. Let go and allow the healing to begin...

Dead flowers

It's a beautiful Friday morning. I am enjoying my first cup of coffee in two days. I have spent two days without coffee and no desire for it. I had a bout of food poisoning two days ago. Awful food poisoning.  It knocked me out. I am so thankful. Really.

Suffering from food poisoning can be suffering...or it can be a blessing. My body was susceptible to food poisoning after burning a fever for eight days. My body was not strong, was not nourished and was loaded with toxins. Bacteria in food was nuclear warfare to my frail body and it won a temporary battle. I am still burning a fever, and I am glad for it. It's part of the process.

Like the earth, we go through seasons. As I sit here enjoying my coffee I look out the window at this beautiful spread of pink flowers that has taken over one side of my garden. A few months ago this shrub was skinny, sad and colorless. It was shedding dead flowers and leaves. This must be its season of growth. Right now it is strong, healthy and beautiful. To get to this stage, my bougainvillea bush needed to go through a period of letting go, of detoxifying and of nourishing. I am going through such a period, I am sure.

My body is getting rid of toxins. I am helping it along by drinking tea, lots of water, resting and doing twisting yoga postures. The fever is helping burn off whatever is contaminating my body and I feel better. I know I am healing. Last night I attempted dinner with a friend, but my body said not yet, so I sipped on water, enjoyed the company and said little. We then met with a few other friends. I received what I could, water and their loving attention. I didn't give much. It's part of the process.

Just as my body is detoxing, my spirit is too. I am letting go of the dead leaves and flowers that keep me from growing. If we hang on to that which absorbs our nutrients and our energy, we deplete ourselves to the point where we are not able to give, to return, to create and to love. This is my season of releasing to give way to a season of vigor, wellness and giving. I am so grateful.

Today is a good day to let go of habits that keep you from being healthy–physically, emotionally and spiritually. Let go of what keeps you from finding your own way and open your heart to receive fresh air. Only by letting the old fall away can you bloom again.

Wild thoughts

After a particularly busy week last week, I wanted to camp in with old movies and a good wine then catch up on unfinished business. The weekend was planned. Then, midway through Saturday morning, my phone pinged with a reminder that I had a haircut appointment that day. Oh no. This changed my plans. I wasn't too thrilled. 

I got to the hair salon with my planner in hand. I was going to work on that unfinished business and get something productive done. My mind was racing with ideas, conversations I needed to follow-up on and deadlines that are looming. Yet, once there, I couldn't work. Normally my anxiety would escalate into a fast-paced heart and a bad mood. My thoughts were running wild with worries, heartbreak, things to do, work I had to finish and my interrupted weekend plans. 

I sat and observed the people around me. I listened to their voices, heard their conversations and enjoyed just being there. This was strange. I was at peace, calm. I can never do this, not on purpose. To tame my thoughts and be at peace at any moment is an incredible feat. 

What did I do different? I let go. I didn't try to control my mind or subdue my thoughts. I was living the moment without judging anything that was happening. I realized that the more we try to control our mind, the more uncontrollable it becomes. 

Today is a good day to take a moment and feel the air on your skin, listen to the sounds around you, see the colors of the day. If you need a moment of peace, find it by focusing on this very moment. Let go and feel with all your senses what is happening right now. 

Special Edition–My relationship is dead...

For the past few months we have been receiving communication from readers like you either through this blog, our Facebook page or email. I have even received feedback through text messages on my phone. Some of the messages we receive are to comment on the pieces published or suggestions for an entry, yet many are to ask questions or to consult an issue. In many instances, readers will ask for the answer to be published. Last night I received a call. It's urgent, the caller said. Please publish a special edition of The Soulcerer's Apprentice, he went on, I am not the only one who is in this situation. This man is hurting. He asked me, How do I realize that my relationship is not going anywhere?

You already know, I told him. Then there was silence. 

He wanted to know how does anyone in his situation finally get it that they are in a dead-end relationship. He already knows that. What he was really asking, what he really wants to know is what to do next, how to get out of it, how to stop the bleeding and can he have some certainty of the future. 

He went on to explain all the reasons why his relationship is not working. Behind all the complaints about his wife, I heard a deep sadness and disappointment. I listened and then I finally stopped him. Do not try to decipher her. We are all such complex human beings. Determine what you want, what you need and if you really love her. Then you talk it over. She is either willing and capable to meet your needs or not. The issue is that once he admits what he knows, he has to take action and that is frightening. If he stays, there's work to do. If he leaves there's an uncertain future. 

First off, I am only hearing one side. Second, I don't assign blame, ever. Yet, there are times when we have to look at the truth of our relationship and see that it is holding us back, that the other person is hurting too and that, in their pain, they invalidate us. People can only love us according to their level of awareness, in the shadow of their fears and in light of their experiences. They do the best they can. We acknowledge this without condemning them. More importantly, there are no innocents in any relationship. We all contribute to their success and failure. 

What do I do now?, he said. I will not tell him what to do. He knows what to do. The important thing is not to act out of fear. To remember that his wife is hurting as well. My new friend has been married for nine years. This is a long time to share with someone and let go. He is afraid. He is in pain. He still wants out. There are many factors that come into play in this relationship and the break-up I feel is coming. I answered his questions promising him that I would publish this today. There will be follow up pieces that I believe address some of the other issues he is struggling with. In the meantime I reminded him that we attract into our lives people who are a reflection of who we are. That there are lessons for him here. There is a purpose. 

Today is a good day to lift our hearts and send light and love to those who are struggling in their relationship...that clarity, harmony and love rule over pain and fear. If you are in such a relationship, know that you are loved and protected. 

My body knows

There was a time when I lived mechanically. I operated pretty much the same way people around me did. I heard what I heard, I saw what I saw and I felt what I felt. Sleep was sleep. Being awake meant having my eyes open. I perceived life on the surface.

Then, about twelve years ago, I started practicing yoga after suffering a back injury. It began as physical therapy. Yoga had a huge impact on my body and my overall health almost immediately. Through yoga, I came across meditation. That was a different story. It took many starts and stops. Meditation was frustrating. In the beginning, what I was trying to help heightened when I tried to meditate. My worries came to the forefront and my anxiety sped up. Meditation was stressful. Yet I kept at it. I kept at it long enough to create a habit. I kept at it long enough to notice a change.

Between the two, yoga and meditation, I started to relate to my body in a different way. I started to listen to it. I noticed that all experiences are physically connected even if just perceived in our mind. This, I learned, is the mind-body connection.

How do we tune in to our mind-body wisdom? We do it through awareness. This awareness is not an active thought process. It is more of an intuitive state. Our subconscious is working, constantly, figuring out that which we don't understand, sorting out details for us, knowing more than we are aware of. When we deepen our awareness we expand the many ways we find answers, insight and direction. Our body, constantly connected to our mind, knows things that we are not conscious of.

A few days ago I laid in my bed with my eyes closed. I was pondering several options for an issue that has been bothering me for a few months. In one scenario, I took action. As soon as I started imagining the details, my heart started racing and breathing became difficult. My next thought was to do nothing. To let circumstances settle and to be open, receptive and patient. My body relaxed. That was my answer. I am used to this. When my body senses distress, I stop. When it is easy, I go. Just yesterday, I stood in tree pose. I took ten breaths on my right foot, but I couldn't stand on my left foot for one breath. I knew something was out of balance. I have noticed that when my mind is cluttered, unclear and bogged down, my shoulders tense up and my neck aches. It is my body, again, telling me I have things to sort out.

Today is a good day to connect to your body-mind wisdom. You don't have to be a yogi to tune-in. All you need is silence and a willingness. Notice how your body feels in the face of a decision you must make. Is your body uncomfortable, in pain, anxious? Is it calm, light and easy? What is it trying to tell you? Listen to the clues your body is giving you. Your body knows...