I'm listening

I'm listening, we say as we scroll our phone or skim over our email on the computer. But we're not, we're not listening. We hear. We process some information, but we're not listening. When our attention is divided we cannot fully listen. We're also not listening when we're waiting to interrupt trying to make our point, to chime in, or to comment for the sake of our egos. We're not listening.

There's a power in listening. When we listen, fully listen, we perceive more than the words being said. We connect more sincerely, we understand deeper, we empathize, we narrow the gaps. Truly listening brings us closer in acceptance, alleviates division, reconciles differences, and creates equanimity. Listening shows we care and opens us up for caring from others. Listening informs, aligns, relates, and empowers us. In listening, we gain power for we're not consuming our energy in thoughts of defensiveness, blame, justification, and judgment. We also don't spend our energy trying to figure out what we heard, piecing it together from the bits we remember and coming to wrong conclusions. When we listen, we are then listened to.

Listening starts with paying attention. Today is a good day to consciously decide to be aware and be engaged in our conversations. Let's take a deep breath, smile, and have the intention to focus on the interaction. Let's listen to the tone of voice, the vibration, the body language and expression, the attitude, the feeling, the emotion, and the sense. Let's say I'm listening and mean it. Let's bring to bear the power in listening.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

What I can do

I woke up feeling a bit blah. It's Friday and my list of things not done this week is long. There's a little defeat in my step. I'm at my desk and I look at this list and get discouraged. There's so much I couldn't do. There's so much I can't do. In my current mood, life just seems to be full of things I can't do.

I can't be 5'7", work 24 hours a day, make people do what they need to do in order for me to finish what I have to do, fix the economy, save the children from our government, undo my heartache, grow back my eyebrows, do wheel pose, eat chocolate, delve into every great idea I have and make a project out of it, make every meal healthy, practice yoga every day, make a joke as masterfully as my husband can, stay in touch with my friends as much as I want to, heal the pain in others, stay in a good mood all day, or keep my to-do list sane, among many other things. The list of things that I can't do and can't be is long. And it's frustrating.

So I'm making another list. I can do that. And I can listen, eat mindfully, practice with intention, share what I know, laugh heartily, participate fully in a conversation, forgive, play music while doing the dishes, give second chances, do yoga while watching Goliath, smile, look my son in the eyes when he talks to me, hold my husband's hand, say please and thank you, sit up straight, do one thing at a time to reach my goals, remind myself to enjoy the task, and apologize, among many other things I can do. Also, I can be creative, hopeful, kind, generous, intentional, mindful, and honest.

Today is a good day to shift our focus from what we can't do to what we can. Making a list helps. Start where you are. Can you be thankful? Can you do things with grace? Can you breathe deeply for a few minutes, choose a kinder thought, run a mile or two, respond wisely, take a step toward your dream project, let go, read something uplifting, send good vibes, make that call, reframe situations for the better, declutter your desk, be pleasantly surprised, do one thing at a time, take a walk, say a prayer, plan that vacation, disengage in an argument, congratulate someone on their accomplishment, be courteous, help, share, work with gratitude, or change your own mood for the better by making this list? I bet you can. What else can you do?

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Career and business advice

We had so much to talk about, catch up, and celebrate. I had not seen my friend in a long time. In our busy schedules we couldn't coincide after hours or on the weekend so we decided on a working lunch. It works because our friendship has always combined business and our personal lives. There really is no separation. It's one of the great things about our relationship. It's very holistic. Every area of our lives affects all other areas of our lives.

In our conversation we talked about every great thing that's going on for us. And then we talked about our hangups. She asked me for advice in one particular situation she's facing with two close and complicated relationships, a situation that is heavily occupying her mind. My words to her surprised me. Pray that each of them is well, happy, loved and protected. What? That was my advice? It was. I didn't recommend conflict resolution, mediation, confrontation, understanding, or any other practical advice.

But this was practical. When we pray for another's wellbeing and happiness we are releasing our thoughts of control, obsessive thoughts, thoughts that haunt us, consume us and drain us, and thoughts that keep us at a low vibrating energy level. Before we know it, when we pray for the other, our minds are lighter, our hearts are peaceful, and we are released to a high, wide and handsome level of energy. What can be more practical for business than that? This allows us to focus on what matters, produce, create, perform, design, organize, build, compose, dream, imagine, inspire, and do things from a stronger and sharper frame of mind. Regularly praying for the wellbeing and happiness of others, especially those we are in conflict with, is a very practical exercise that can have a tremendous impact on our careers and business.

Today is a good day to pray for those we are struggling with. May they be happy, may they be well, may they be loved, may they be protected. Let's pray and be released from the thoughts that bind us. Let's pray and be released to our excellence, to our purpose, to our greatness, and to our highest and best good.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Aftermath

Take a moment to think about the last argument you had with someone, especially someone you love. Think of that cruel thing you said, the mean thing, the hurtful thing. What did you mean by that? No, not the literal meaning of the words you said, for most us have said something awful in the heat of an argument, but the intentions behind your words. What did you mean? Did you mean to heal or to wound the relationship deeper, to bring understanding or to be right, to listen or to make your point, to make peace or to hurt the other person?

Sometimes we act our anger out without concern or consideration for others. We don't realize that when we act in such a way we don't consider ourselves either, even if what we are saying is in the name of voicing our opinion or righting a perceived wrong. In a battle of wills, egos win all the time, but ultimately ego is not a source of joy, beauty, intimacy, rewarding experiences, lasting happiness, or love. Not pausing to consider the intentions behind our actions stems from ego and the effects can leave us hurt, wounded. Ultimately, there is no true satisfaction, but an aftermath of more conflict, separation, blaming, bitter feelings, mistrust, and a breaking down of relationships.

Today is a good day to take a moment before reacting in anger. Let's take a moment to consider our intentions before saying something disrespectful, impolite, harsh, nasty, or wounding. If we are not clear about what our intentions are, then, at least, let's be mindful that we can get caught in the aftermath of our anger. Let's turn our intentions from righteousness gone amiss, pride, arrogance, and smugness, to respect, regard, harmony, conciliation, and love. The aftermath will then not be one of additional damage, but of mending, healing, and growth.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Feeling everything that is wrong to feel good

It was Saturday morning. It was not 7am yet and I was already feeling the Caribbean summer heat. I didn't want to meditate. I was in a bad mood. I stood under the ceiling fan in a lightweight t-shirt and my flip-flops. I closed my eyes and just stood there, in mountain pose. I took one exasperated deep breath in and sighed out. I stayed there, feeling the air from the fan, the sweat under my shirt, and my swollen feet and the tingling in my hands caused by the heat. I didn't move. I kept breathing with my eyes closed feeling everything that made me uncomfortable. I wanted to stretch my back, raise my hands, roll my neck, but I just stood there, breathing, feeling everything that was wrong–the heat, the aches in my body, the long week behind me, the list of chores to do, the state of the economy, mental exhaustion, needing a break. After a few minutes, in spite of myself, I became focused on my breath. I stayed. After a few more minutes, my shoulders were relaxed, I was breathing comfortably, and my bad mood was gone. I had a feeling of empowerment and a sense of new perspective. I had a feeling that I could manage the rest of the day.

Contemplative practices such as meditation take many forms and can be spontaneous and involuntary. They can also do wonders for our states of mind and body. Today is a good day to practice an impromptu meditation, to take a few minutes to accept what is as it is. Let's let it be without resistance, without wishing it were something else, something different. Let's feel everything that is wrong that we may release it and feel relaxed, strong, capable, centered and good.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.