Friday, June 8, 2018


Take a moment to think about the last argument you had with someone, especially someone you love. Think of that cruel thing you said, the mean thing, the hurtful thing. What did you mean by that? No, not the literal meaning of the words you said, for most us have said something awful in the heat of an argument, but the intentions behind your words. What did you mean? Did you mean to heal or to wound the relationship deeper, to bring understanding or to be right, to listen or to make your point, to make peace or to hurt the other person?

Sometimes we act our anger out without concern or consideration for others. We don't realize that when we act in such a way we don't consider ourselves either, even if what we are saying is in the name of voicing our opinion or righting a perceived wrong. In a battle of wills, egos win all the time, but ultimately ego is not a source of joy, beauty, intimacy, rewarding experiences, lasting happiness, or love. Not pausing to consider the intentions behind our actions stems from ego and the effects can leave us hurt, wounded. Ultimately, there is no true satisfaction, but an aftermath of more conflict, separation, blaming, bitter feelings, mistrust, and a breaking down of relationships.

Today is a good day to take a moment before reacting in anger. Let's take a moment to consider our intentions before saying something disrespectful, impolite, harsh, nasty, or wounding. If we are not clear about what our intentions are, then, at least, let's be mindful that we can get caught in the aftermath of our anger. Let's turn our intentions from righteousness gone amiss, pride, arrogance, and smugness, to respect, regard, harmony, conciliation, and love. The aftermath will then not be one of additional damage, but of mending, healing, and growth.

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