Thursday, February 28, 2013

Between the moon and the sun...

I snoozed my alarm a few times this morning. Five in the morning became six before I got out of bed. In the hour, I turned every nine minutes to snooze my alarm. I was in a dream-wake state, feeling and thinking, sleeping and waking. I felt a general happiness about me, but I had an urge to cry. When I finally woke up, the urge was still there, but I couldn't find a reason. Even my body felt different. It was heartbroken...with no apparent motive.

As I left the house, there was still a tender chill in the air and my body welcomed it as when fevered skin welcomes the comfort of a cold compress. I breathed deeply, closing my eyes for a moment, taking the air in. When I opened my eyes, the moon was before me in the sun's morning light. I left the house at the same time I leave the house each morning, yet, as I drove through the city, the sun was in my face, lower than usual, brighter than usual, blinding me.

I decided to drive by the ocean, in another direction, away from the sun. I stared at the beach for a few moments, watching the waves and feeling the warmth of the sun, no longer in my face, yet still there. And I thought of my feelings earlier today. I realized there are reasons for my tears.

The sun and the moon on the same morning sky, happiness and sadness in one heart. I have an  awareness that this is life. That tears and sadness are not in opposition to happiness. Unhappiness is something else. It's the absence of light, of the warmth of the sun, of any hope. I realize that just as I changed direction to avoid the brightness of the sun, we too change direction when something good happens to us. Yet even when we turn, the good is still there. It doesn't impose itself on us. It respectfully waits for our choosing.

And just as we can't force the wave to come, we can't keep it from coming at all. The Universe sustains us with returning love and wisdom. All we have to do is accept it.

The courage we should ask for today is the courage to receive all the good the Universe wants to provide us. The patience we should have today is the patience to let the wave come, not to rush to it or anticipate it. The mind we should have today is the mind of Spirit, accepting the wave of wisdom. The heart we should have today is the heart to feel what we can't see when we turn away.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Sticks and stones

I don't think well of some people. In fact, there are some people who rub me the wrong way so badly that my skin crawls when I think of them. I keep those thoughts to myself for a few reasons. First, what I think of them is none of their business...or anyone else's. Second, when I share my negative opinion  with someone else, I spread that feeling leaving a veil of negative energy that affects our interactions. Third, whatever I think of a person doesn't make them that. Yet it does make me a person who judges. Thinking that someone is stupid does not make them stupid, but it does make me a person who has decided to be bothered by them, form an unproductive opinion and occupy mental real estate on something I have no control over: someone else's behavior or way of thinking.

When I focus on what bothers me in someone else, I get this sinus-imitating pressure behind my brow. I realize that whatever thought I am having that moment is what I am living, yet the person I am having unkind thoughts about is not affected by my thought. 

The remedy to this is to become a noticer. Notice others, but don't form a personal opinion about them. Notice what bothers you about them. Is it that it reminds you of a trait in yourself that you don't like? Could you learn from this aspect of that person? We attract people into our lives for a reason. Notice, learn, find your lesson and grow.  

Today, be the noticer, not the one who judges. Be lighthearted and kind with your thoughts. 

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

When we don't get what we want...

We know what we want and we go after it. After all, that's what society calls for, people who fight, work and strive for what they want. Overcome obstacles!, they say. Work hard

And we do. We want something and we wish for it, pray for it and work hard for it. What happens when we don't get it? We get disappointed or, worse, we cause a hardship in our relationships, health or finances. We figure we have done something wrong. How can we work so hard not to attain what we worked so hard for? Maybe we should be thankful for what we didn't get. 

Sometimes we do get what we work so hard for. We get it in spite of obstacles, troubles and setbacks. We are so bent on getting it, that we do. And then it turns out not to be what we thought it would. Frustration sets in. 

I have worked hard for many things that turned out to be less than what I hoped for. Some of these things and accomplishments still seem to have filled an outward measure of success. Yet they were not what I wanted or needed. I realize that some obstacles I encountered where messages for me to think again about what I was striving for. The setbacks were trying to tell me something. I didn't listen. 

Then there were the times I struggled for something and didn't get it. It took a while, but then I realized it was what the best outcome. I dodged a bullet.

This can happen with things, achievements and relationships. Listen to what the Universe is trying to tell you. Where is it pointing to? What is it telling you? Is it supporting your goal? Or is it telling you not now? Sometimes the answer is not ever. 

Today is a good day to meditate on what you want and pay attention to the messages you are receiving. These messages are subtle, but they are there. Connect to your Spirit for heightened awareness. What you consider coincidence is a response to your questions. Are you finding the research you need, the right contacts, the funding? Or are you running into problems every where you turn? Are doors opening up for you? Are you getting the support you need? This is not about what you want being easy, it is about what you want being right for you. When something you want is meant to be, even if you have to work hard for it, you receive the help and direction you need. You will know. 

Monday, February 25, 2013


It's Monday. The roles we play line up early for curtain call. The curtain goes up and we run our script. We are parents, spouses, neighbors, bosses, lovers, children, exes, employees, caretakers and students among other roles we play. With each role, the wardrobe we wear is an attitude, a mood, a point of view, a set of beliefs, a perspective. Each role comes loaded with thought. By the time our character speaks, our bodies and our spirits have spoken enough with our body language and our temperament. Sometimes what they say is "Enough!"

The roles we play are actually roles we take on. Nobody imposes them on us. Some of us are happy within the roles we have chosen. Yet the majority of us are not. We perform mechanically. We fulfill our role because we don't know what else to do, we don't know how to get out of character or we are afraid. The majority of us wouldn't know what our real character is. We are tired of superficial living, of not living true to ourselves.

Today is a good day to step away from the stage for a few moments, take off the costumes of the roles you play and connect to your True Self. Ask yourself Who am I?, What do I want?, How may I contribute?, How do I love? Then wait for the answers. Come to these questions again and again. The Spirit within will guide you providing you answers if you are willing to listen. You will serve others best when you are clear on who you are and what makes you happy for you can only offer happiness and love if you have it.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

On choice...

Decisions, decisions. Some are easy, some, not so much. In fact, some decisions are so hard to make that we don't make them, we get paralyzed or we ignore the issue altogether. There are many reasons why we fail to make certain decisions, but it is all summarized in one word: fear.

When faced with a difficult decision such as moving long-distance, accepting a marriage proposal, declining a job offer, changing careers, divorcing, taking chemotherapy, simplifying life, denouncing criminal activity in an organization, voting for justice and fairness in the face of conflicting values, taking a relationship to the next level, downsizing employees, starting over, buying a teenage son a car, admitting homosexuality and having a child–among other hard life decisions, we all fear something. We fear hurting someone we love, losing, failing, conflict, not knowing what to do and being rejected, lonely, wrong, ridiculed, judged or heartbroken. We all act differently when having to make a choice. Some of us push through without much thought, some of us render ourselves immovable making no decision at all and some us go around and around considering every possibility in order to make a choice and can't.

There is a danger in making hasty decisions, in not making decisions and in considering too much in order to make a decision. If we hurry to make the decision, we make it with emotion. We react with what we are feeling rather than respond consciously. If we don't make a decision, a decision will be made for us because a decision needs to be made. This almost never results in the best outcome. If we take too long to make a decision, we will never make the right one. Not in our estimation.

Not knowing what choice to make is common and natural. Today is a good day to get over your fears and make a decision based on the information you already have. Have the faith that it will work out for the best for all concerned. You will never have all the information. Yet knowing that knowledge is not wisdom, trust in your intuition, find the answers within and make your choice.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

The many ways we love

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine who lives a plane ride aways called me out of the blue, late at night, just because. My heart warmed over as I remembered how much I love him. I had not thought of him in quite a while. He hadn't thought of me in a while either, I bet. Every now and then an overwhelming thought of each other brings us to reach out to one another in friendship. We catch up, laugh for a while, and send our best thoughts and all our affection...until the next time. This is one of the ways I love and get love back.

My two-year-old nephews call on my sister's iPhone screaming joyfully for auntie, my son walks by me as I write and kisses my forehead, my mom leaves goodies for me in my purse, a new colleague tells me that an ex recently spoke very highly of me, I get an unexpected call in the middle of the afternoon for advice and conversation, the friendly waiter at a restaurant brings me a cappuccino on the house, a gentleman at the gas station points to one of my tires that is running low and fixes it for me...these are some of the ways I get love and love back.

As I write this, another friend just Facebook messaged me. He sends me a hug with thoughts of me. He is a writer, a poet and his messages come flowered with love. Last night, as I sweat a fever, another friend, another poet, called me with concern and tons of love. A day before, my friend and editor spent the day with me until she felt I was better - no condescension, lots of laughs, great and intelligent conversation. Their sensibility comes through without naming the elephant in the room and giving me just what I didn't know I needed. Another way in which I love and get love back.

I share a cause, others look into it and adopt it as their own. Acquaintances gift my son with a treat to thank him for his help and courtesy. A concerned neighbor calls in the middle of the day because I have left a garage door open. A friend in my car quickly gets out at a red traffic light to close the gas tank cap of a car stopped at the same light. A client's firm and its employees pool together to buy groceries for a family in need–for one year, anonymously. A divorced couple decides to have a friendly lunch in forgiveness and new friendship. A retired gentleman walks around the neighborhood and picks up trash other people have left behind. This is love.

Love is not only the romantic type. Love comes to us in satisfying, nurturing and rich ways from different people, in different ways. Friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances and strangers love us in different capacities, as they can, as they know how, as they are willing to. We turn this love around by loving back...them and others.

Today is a good day to think of the many ways in which you get love and how you love back. Give, receive, let love come in, give love back.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Cogito ergo sum

A few years ago Russell Shorto wrote a fantastic book that I picked up at Barnes & Noble because of the beautiful artwork on the cover. The title then caught my eye, Descartes' Bones. Of course I bought the book! It turned out to be as amazing as I had hoped. Well-written and engaging, the book follows a 350-year tale of the remains of the RenĂ© Descartes and their historical influence on science, math, democracy, reason and faith. I've always been intrigued by Descartes and his schools of thought–Cartesianism, Rationalism, Foundationalism–his legacy in Mathematics, Epistemology and Methaphysics, his moral philosophy and his influence in church doctrine.

Yet, I have been most influenced by his writings on Dualism and his most quoted principle of Cogito ergo sum–I think, therefore I am. I thought about these concepts today as I became a clear example of my reasoning. I arrived at my own critical conclusions based on Descartes' principles over fifteen years ago. My conclusions are much simpler though. I don't think about the pineal gland or spinal fluid because I am not well-versed in scientific studies of the body, but I do think in terms of the mind-body relationship.

I combine his concepts to arrive at my own. I think, therefore I am proved to the French philosopher that we exist because we think: someone must be doing the thinking therefore that someone is me who, obviously, must exist. Dualism explains that there is a communication between the body and the mind, also the soul. Your Soulcerer's conclusion is that I think, therefore I am what I think and what I think has an effect and a direct correlation to my body and, in turn, my body affects what I think.

Case in point. I am writing this as you sleep, the night before I publish it. I don't know how I will feel in the morning. I am writing it tonight because I am sick. There. I said it. I am sick. And I am sick because I think I am sick. I had an off day today. I let my emotions get the best of me and this affected my sense of well-being. I met a friend for a late lunch who noticed I wasn't myself. I didn't want to go over my feelings, so instead I focused on the subtle aches in my body. I told my friend I was sick. I believed it. Now I am sick. After a two-hour lovely lunch, my mood was better, but then I was having body chills. The fact that my body felt sick made me think about being sick. I came full-circle, I was back to being sick. There is a mind-body connection.

My thoughts made me susceptible to illness. I now have a fever. I am turning this around, though. I am not thinking I am sick. I am thinking I am healing. I will be well.

Our thoughts make us susceptible not only to physical illness, but to a host of physical, emotional and mental states. Our body language, our outlook on life, our stamina, our moods, our resilience, our ability to accomplish our dreams, our levels of stress, our self-appreciation, our perceptions, our sleep, and more are all affected by what we think.

Today is a good day to watch your thoughts. Your thoughts affect your body and your soul. You think therefore you are what you think.

The cover that caught my eye. I still have this book somewhere in my library. 

Thursday, February 21, 2013

The last thing to die...

We have no guarantees. Security, safety, social standing, career, love–it all can change with or without warning. When our conditions change, our sense of well-being is replaced by a sense of fear and we lessen our willingness to give and to love contracting our hearts in self-protection. This is a natural response, but it is not a healthy one.

When our life changes in a way that frightens us, it is opening our hearts and not closing them that begets healing. Opening ourselves up allows the Universe to provide for us. With open hands, minds and hearts we receive lessons, love, blessings, friends and lovers. With ourselves open, we are guided and protected.

The key to opening ourselves up is hope. Hope brings about faith and faith is the believe that we are loved and protected and that what we need is here. We may not see it, but it is here. So when life shifts, when despair taints your vision, when desperation taps on your door, hold on to hope. Hope is the last thing to die and it is what will bring us back to life.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I don't want to do it

There are days that you wake up with a sadness that is beyond you. Maybe it's not sadness, maybe you feel grumpy, maybe you feel numb, maybe you feel overwhelmed, maybe you feel like giving up or maybe you feel all of this at the same time. There are days you wake up and you just don't want to do it and you can't control it, you can't change is such a strong feeling that you feel it is outside of you and taking over you.

On these days when you just don't want to do it, do it. Just do it. Start slow, start moving with a thought of gratitude. Any effort you make will yield a blessing. Take a few minutes to connect to Spirit in silence and start your day.

Today I don't feel like working. In silence I told God how I felt. I took a few moments to sit quietly and reach out to Spirit with honesty and no expectations. I then switched my thoughts to being thankful for my opportunities and the ability to work in what I love. With this thought I have started returning emails and phone calls and taking care of a few tasks. My mood is lifting. I am receiving answers I needed and cooperation. Slowly I am fulfilling my purpose. I am being led.

This day which started sad, heavy and gloomy is still young, but as the minutes and the hours go by it will change...for the better. The day will change and the way I feel will change with this small gesture of trust and gratitude on my part.

If today you feel the same and don't want to do it, do it. It will change the day and it will change you...for the better.

Monday, February 18, 2013


Who are you pretending to be? Who do you pretend for? Why do you pretend?

All of us wear masks. We pretend to be someone we are not. We hide our insecurities, our fears, our vulnerabilities, our wants, what we need from each other, our sadness, our imperfections and our brokenness behind smiles, shrugs, silence, constant activity, exaggerated senses of humor and false attitudes. We do so because we are afraid that if people knew the real us they would think less of us, reject us, not love us, judge us or ridicule us. We assume we will not be understood. Yet real understanding begins with honesty and authenticity.

We wear masks to protect us from feeling inadequate, vulnerable and insecure. We hide behind a mask of artificial toughness to protect ourselves from being hurt–even if there is no guarantee, even if it prevents us from enjoying authentic relationship. Masks keep us lonely, even when surrounded by acquaintances, friends, family and loved ones. Masks create a wall keeping us separate from others.

Today is a good day to take a mask off. Give yourself an opportunity to really enjoy life and give others the opportunity to enjoy you. Take a mask off and be closer to who you are and to those who love you as well.


What if your car didn't start this morning and you had to walk a mile? What if your digital reader malfunctioned? What if there is no cable tv service tonight? What if the mall closed for some reason? What if Amazon couldn't ship the book your friend recommended?

I thought about these questions this morning. I imagined the mile-long walk through the streets I drive on every day. I hear birds, morning voices, car engines starting. I smell breakfast through kitchen windows,  feel the dew of grasses on my sandals and the not-yet-warmed air. I could appreciate the architecture of the houses around me, the gardens that I pass by, There is so much to take pleasure in. If my digital reader malfunctioned, I would have to read from a book. I would feel the ripple of the pages through my fingertips, smell the unmistakeable smell of a printed book and not worry about battery life. If there was no cable service tonight, I would have a longer conversation with my son, joke a little longer with him, play a board game, look through the art books on our coffee table. If the mall closed, then we could go to the museum. It would be cheaper, inspiring and would bring us closer together. If Amazon couldn't ship to my location, then I would have to scan the local bookstores for the book. Who knows what gems I could find, what new people I could meet, what great conversations I could have?

The conveniences in our lives are many and are great. They help make our days more efficient and productive. Yet, every now and then a little inconvenience can enrich life. When feeling stuck and uncreative, this may be just what gets us inspired once again. Inconvenienced, suddenly we are awake, we feel alive, connected to what we take for granted.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Squinting to see

We stub our toe with something–a toy, a misplaced box, a chair in the way, and all our problems rise to the surface. We curse while we limp finding who's to blame for whatever we stubbed our toe on. Then we go on to list all the things that annoy us, all the problems we have, all the reasons why something is not working out. We lose perspective.

In the grand scheme of things, the mess in the way is just a mess. Stubbing our toe is no one's fault. It's an accident. There are real problems in the world: hunger, poverty, abuse, slavery, war. Scaled down to our communities, we find some of these real problems as well. There are children in our towns who only eat at school for there's nothing to eat at home. There are mothers and fathers around us who are unemployed and are desperate to provide for their families. There are women who are being beaten cleverly by their partners in ways you and I will not notice in order to control them. I could go on, but I am sure you understand the point. There is real suffering go on.

When we squint, we do so to protect our eyes, but we also do it to see more clearly and to put somethings into focus. Squinting to see, we create a balance between the smaller issues of life and the big picture. We narrow our view to respond to what is happening at the moment appropriately within the bigger scope of life. Squinting to see allows us to understand, too, others and their circumstances. We become more empathetic and patient, we don't miss the forest for the trees.

Today is a good day to put things into perspective. As you do, you de-stress and relax for you sense the difference between what is a big deal and what is not.

Saturday, February 16, 2013


The day does not end, it turns into night. The night does not end, it turns into morning. The love does not end, it turns into sorrow. The sorrow does not end, it turns...

Every new beginning comes from a change in circumstances–losing a job, the breaking of a relationship, disability, death of a loved one, a devastating fire. Yet no newness arises if we refuse to live these through and let them go. Living through the pain, we grow, we become wiser, we get to know ourselves better. It is then that the end becomes a turning and not a final event. It is then that we realize why we experienced what hurt us, for even when the experience has been a great one, the ending brings sadness with it.

The same is true for what fills us and makes us happy, it will turn. Rooted to the love within, we can let go of expectations and enjoy the gifts as they come to us. When the change comes, the sadness will be brief. Holding on to the Spirit within, even through times of great joy, we can rest knowing that we will be held through to new beginnings. The light will shine, the path will appear, the new will be evident, the loss becomes a learning experience. New life blooms from what we put to rest.

Today is a good day to let go of what is holding you from a new beginning. The pain will be there either way. The pain, though, will last longer if you choose to stay in the withering state than if you choose to let go and embrace new life, new thoughts, new love. Spirit will hold you and carry you through the end turning into the new.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Cruel intentions

It is so easy to be cruel when afraid. When faced with what may be perceived as an attempt against personal freedom, wants and wishes, dignity or when faced with uncertainty or major life decisions, it is easy to be insensitive and cruel. This may apply to how you have reacted under these circumstances, but I want you to think about how others have acted towards you.

Underneath most acts of cruelty in relationship lies fear. This fear may be about commitment to one partner, compromise about finances, having children, relinquishing dreams, realizing that love is gone, the dance of a relationship, accepting love, being lied to and other issues. The cruel reactions to these and other fears are varied. Silence, disregard, harsh words, infidelity, neglect, abandonment and inconsiderate behavior are among some of ways this cruelty is expressed.

We are all capable of reacting in terrible ways when something scares us. Our job when being mistreated in cruel ways is to remember where this reaction is coming from. This is not to say that you are to accept this behavior. Understand, have compassion, forgive...learn. Then release this person.

Today, see behind the cruelty. It has nothing to do with you. Cruel intentions are really a call for love.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

I have so much to do...

I have so much to do today. So I slept a little longer. I took my son to school and drove the long way back. I meditated a little longer, I sipped my coffee a little longer, was thankful for a little longer, prayed a little longer, kept quiet for a little longer. And then I looked at my planner.

Feeling calm has a huge impact on our ability to accomplish our daily goals. With a clear mind, we are able to work on our priorities and respond more appropriately to unplanned circumstances that arise throughout our day. When we begin our day with a purposeful sense of calm, we enjoy what we do, think more positively, and our experiences lead us to clarity. In other words, our day is also a meditation which helps us understand where we are, who we are and what we want. Entering our day calmly also allows us to be more patient, kind and understanding of others. It is difficult to become frantic when we resolutely intend our days to be calm. It is easier to manage life and all we have to do in it when the tone we set is calm.

With my morning ritual this morning, I intended to be calm. I became calm. I looked at my planner and made a reasonable list of things I want to achieve today. I am already thankful for the time I have for I have time to do what is important. With this mentality I will enjoy the day, enjoy those I come across and add to my level of happiness.

Today is a good day for you to breathe, relax and realistically look at your agenda. Include what matters. If it is too much, take a moment to relax and then look at your list again. When you have too much to do, do nothing, at least for a moment, and you will do everything.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

We must grieve...

You can't get around it. You must go through it. 

This is probably the best advice anyone has given me. My former boss, one of my wisest teachers, said this to me a long time ago and I kept it as a mantra to help me through times of anxiety, worry, heartbreak and doubt. It has helped me in business and it has helped me through big changes in my life. I meditate on this mantra frequently and I find comfort in it, especially during times of grief. 

We experience grief when we lose someone we love to death or a breaking in a relationship. Many times we try to overcome this grief by ignoring our feelings of loss and despair. Yet, ignoring our feelings only postpones the inevitable. There are lessons in everything we experience and until we learn those lessons we will repeat experiences that reinforce the lessons we refuse to learn. 

When it comes to grief, we have to grieve. We have to allow ourselves the time to go through it. Going through grief will lead us to healing. In grieving we acknowledge our feelings, we feel our emotions...we wait...we cry, we ask, we wonder, we pray...we go through grief...and then we heal.

10 seconds to peace

It takes 24 hours for the sun to circle the earth, 21 days to change a habit, 120 days to get over a crush and only 10 seconds to find peace. A long time ago I wrote that "a breath and a smile before saying anything, changes everything." It's true. Smile while inhaling through your nose for a count of five, exhaling through your nose for another count of five and feel the rhythm of your heart mellow. Do it a few more times, and feel your entire body relax, your perspective change and a general sense of calmness flutter through you.

Whatever you encounter today take a moment to breathe and smile before responding. If it is something amazing that will happen to you, then taking a moment to let it sink in allows you to fully appreciate it. If it is something unpleasant that you are dealing with, then this pause lets you reason rather than react emotionally.

The ten seconds it takes for a full in-breath and out-breath changes the moment, neutralizing any extreme emotion. These ten seconds can not only change the moment, they can change your day and the outcome of any situation. Smile, breathe...(in) ten, nine, eight, seven, six, (out) five, four, three, two...peace.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013


Rumi, one of my favorite poets, wrote in the 13th century that "the wound is the place where light enters you." Take a moment to read this line again and let it sink in. 

Where it hurts is where the healing will happen, but healing will only take place if we shine a metaphorical light on where it hurts. We tend to go through life ignoring pain. I know that we complain about our headaches, our back aches, our carpal tunnel pain and so on, but there is other pain we go through that we do not listen to. It is the pain the tells us where our life needs attention, where we need to change. We can't heal it until we acknowledge it. 

Just as we take care to remedy whatever causes our heads to ache, our stomachs to hurt and our feet to swell, we need to take care of what causes us emotional, mental and spiritual pain. Not only do these types of pain cause us dysfunction in our lives, they cause us physical pain as well. So tending to the pain of our hearts, our minds and our souls nurses our bodies of many physical ailments. Thought + Feeling = Emotion. And it is emotion we feel in our bodies–fever, shivers, crying, tightness in our chest, lower back pain, migraines, low energy, lack of sleep, and so on. 

What Rumi alerts us to is that until we deal with what hurts us, we will continue to suffer for it. For until we recognize and deal with what causes us pain, the pain will surface over and over. 

Where does it hurt? The pain may not be obvious just as what is causing pain may not be obvious, but a good sign is recurring pain, illness and distress. What pain keeps showing up in your body, in your life?  Listen to the pain. It's trying to tell you something. 

Sunday, February 10, 2013


Truth is the thread that holds us to each other. It connects our Spirit to ourselves and to one another.

When we are not truthful, we hurt ourselves by disconnecting from our Source. In that division, we lose direction, vision and intuition and we attract deceit into our lives. When we are not truthful, we hurt each other. We see each other through a veil of deception, mistrust and wrong intentions. We can't exchange the better part of ourselves. True relationship is halted. We can't reveal our most pure and greatest expression of ourselves. We separate ourselves and so create all sorts of misguided situations priming ourselves for mistaken and impaired decisions. When we are not truthful, we don't live authentic lives.

Truth is the basic element to being authentic. Being authentic means saying the truth, not necessarily what others want to hear, it means living the truth–our truth. Anything else we do, any other way we live negates our nature, our possibilities, our happiness, our integrity, our dignity, our contribution, our purpose, our love, our fulfillment, our perfection, our light to others, our wholeness...

Truth and authenticity go hand in hand. Today is a good day to be truthful, to be authentic, to live the fullness of life...

Friday, February 8, 2013


With a long list of things to do, I had my day planned. I had articles to turn in, proposals to finish, travel to book, poetry due, 500 words to write in a novel that insists on not writing itself, laundry, chores and so the list goes. My body had another plan though.

I woke up with a fever. Oh boy. It kept me in bed all day long. In its wisdom, my body laid me down to rest. I read, I wrote, I slept, I sweat the fever. My repose included tea, pajamas, good poetry, good movies, good food, silence, messages from friends and the tender touch from people I love.

Halfway through the day, my long list of things to do didn't matter so much. In the quiet moments I became grateful and appreciative for the day of rest, my sabbath. This day brought me closer to Spirit, finding Him in the irony of my ill body, in the care of loved ones, in the magical orchestration of events knowing that everything is as it should be and will be fine.

Today is a good day to plan on a regular Sabbath, not as an obligation, but as the gift it truly is.

Thursday, February 7, 2013


The thought of settling used to make me cringe. Settling had a give-in component that I didn't like. now has a different meaning to me.

In yoga, I learn patience. The most amazing thing happens after I practice–my bones, my muscles, my spirit and my mind settle. I gain some of the benefit while I do yoga–I can hear the popping noise of lactic acid releasing in my joints, and the refreshing cracking of my spine. But the full effect is a heightening of wellness and tranquility that increases as the day goes by.

The same thing happens with understanding. We would like to comprehend the what's, the why's and the how's of circumstances and events in our lives at the moment. Yet there is a settling of understanding and it comes at the right time even if it takes a while.

With yoga, meditation, understanding, wisdom, truth and love there is a settling. In time we come to realize that the job we didn't get would have taken us in a different direction, the love we lost would have compromised our dignity, the tough months we had yielded new and creative ideas, the unexpected responsibilities at work brought travel and new acquaintances with them, a daughter's missed recital led to an important heart to heart conversation, that we know more than what we believe we know, that love always surrounds us, and so on.

Today is a good day to'll understand, in time. Let it settle.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Tabula rasa

Slow in-breath, slower This is what the thought of tabula rasa does to me. Tabula rasa is a latin term which means something existing in its original pristine state, usually referring to a mental state. Isn't that refreshing? The thought of tabula rasa relaxes me. I can go there, to a place where I can begin again.

A few days ago I woke up and decided that I had enough in my mind. There were things that bothered me, things that worried me, things that hurt me and things I was afraid of all swirling around in my head. There were people in there, decisions I made, disappointment, and the anxiety of things I want to do. As though they were magic words, I whispered tabula rasa.

I left the house approaching the day with curiosity, leaving my story behind, an empty page. With no expectations, I stayed open to direction, to others, to what the day brought. I asked for nothing, yet I got everything. The emptiness I decided on early in the morning allowed me to perceive things differently, to see things  and people more honestly–without an agenda–and to write a new story for myself.

Today is a good day to wipe your slate clean and begin anew by releasing your mental binds. Today, every decision can be new, every thought can be different. Today, we can begin again.

Tabula Rasa
©2013 The Soulcerer's Apprentice

Tuesday, February 5, 2013


It was early. The house was quiet and dark. I carefully turned the knob on my son's bedroom door to wake him up for school. He was sitting, cross-legged, in the middle of the the dark. I smiled and whispered Good morning Sunshine. He replied, Is it morning already? 

It turns out that after he had gone to sleep the night before, a random car driving by our house honked for some reason and the sound woke him up. My son looked at the clock then. It was 10:37 at night. He never went back to sleep. It was now 6:10 in the morning. 

I gave him a melatonin pill and held him in the dark for a few minutes until he fell asleep. He slept for a few hours and woke up renewed. I was surprised and concerned because he only slept a few hours and he normally needs eight to ten hours of is how he recharges. I fed him breakfast and suggested he go back to sleep for a few more hours. Oh no, I'm fine. He explained that sitting in the dark was peaceful and quiet, that somehow he was not tired. 

He inadvertently meditated. It is this quietness that he experienced that mutes the chatter in our mind and allows us to wind down, release stress, anxiety, worry and thoughts of fear. In meditation there's an unspoken agreement between you and Spirit. You sit in silence, Spirit nurtures you. My son was restored after a night of sitting quietly in the dark. Amazing. 

Our lives are continuously noised about with television, radio, cell phones, internet, loud speakers, loud cars, loud people, loud voices and our own minds. If we take a few moments to sit quietly and do nothing we will find renewal and a sense of peace. If we practice a few moments of silence each day we will experience the cumulative effects of meditation–lower blood pressure, restoration of body and spirit, a lasting sense of calm and a sharpened intuition.

Today is a good day to find a few minutes of quiet be enjoy what comes after the silence...

Monday, February 4, 2013

Put your defenses down

We brush our teeth, dress and put on defenses every morning before we head out the door. We defend against, or for, our fears, insecurities and weaknesses, creating a stand-off between us.

It causes much more confusion when we pretend we don't feel as we do. Accepting our frailties, we develop compassion and understanding for others and for ourselves. We also become approachable, lovable, acceptable and accepting in the eyes of others. When we are real, we release an energy that affects the people we come in contact with. 

Today is a good day to balance a healthy expression of who we are. In this healthy expression we find the difference between identifying with our vulnerabilities and being authentic. Accept yourself as the work-in-progress that you are for others to do the same. Put your defenses down. Be real and experience life more fully and honestly. 

Sunday, February 3, 2013


To hesitate is to hold back, to be slow in acting, to be uncertain, unwilling or reluctant. I have lived this definition of hesitation many times experiencing its fiercest form when I've had to make changes. I see hesitation in others too, precisely when they have to make a change.

When we keep making the same mistakes, when we start sliding backwards instead of moving forward, when we keep hearing the same messages over and over again, when we keep ignoring our gut feelings we need to make a change. 

We make the decision to change, but then we hesitate when we have to make a choice within our new way. We easily go back to our old way, to what is familiar to us even if it hurts us. We do this especially when we are afraid and when we feel uncertainty. We react by holding on, hurrying up and giving up. Yet it is in this moment that we need to let go, slow down and follow-through. The anxiety we feel up until this moment is a sign, a message from the Universe that we need to change something in our lives. This anxiety is not the frenetic, outer expressed stress, but the introspective uneasiness and discomfort that twinges truth inside of us. We are called to make a change and so we need to overcome vacillation and doubt. 

We can continue to live unhappy, annoyed, unfulfilled and held back lives or we can push through the hesitation and make the changes we know in our hearts that we need to make. Today is a good day to move in that direction. 

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Whoa Nelly!

We were on a roll. I didn't want to stop the flow of ideas so I asked him to come with me to pick up my son from school. We could continue the creative banter in the car. When we got to the school, he opened the passenger side door and asked my son to have a seat. Then he sat in the back for the return trip.

I drive the long way, almost always. It is a conscious choice I make in an effort to live my life beautifully. I drove the long way home from my son's school with my friend in the back seat. We drove through old residential neighborhoods, the beach, and parts of historic sectors. He broke the silence more than once with Wow!, Ah!, Sigh!...inhaling and exhaling resonantly from the back seat. By the time we got home he was somewhat changed. He had experienced beauty and inspiration that is always around him, but goes unnoticed.

The first realization was that time was not an issue. We could have compared the time spent by taking this non-route than by taking the expressway, but we knew better than to ruin the feeling. Time really wasn't an issue. The second realization was that we miss so much when we're in a hurry. The third realization was that we are in a hurry out of habit and out of our reaction to the hurry of others. Finally, we realized that we were enjoying a feeling of happiness and well-being as a result of a simple change of pace.

We live life so fast that we fail to enjoy it. We run all the time believing that it will pay off on our vacation or our "free" time. Yet time is free and, more importantly, we can enjoy life daily without the frantic tone we set it to. We are tired, indifferent to each other, sick and worried. It's all in the way we think. We think we have to run this pace, and so we do.

Today is a good day to hold our horses back...from a gallop to a walk. In this slower gait, we can connect to others, to nature, to Spirit and to ourselves. Time will not matter. At a slower pace, we work better–yielding better quality work and results, we enrich our relationships, improve our health and notice life around us. Hold your horses...and awake to a slower, richer and more fulfilling life.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Holding hands

I have an eleven-year-old son. Sometimes I look at him while he sleeps and he looks just like he did when he was four days old. I am aware of the passing of days and have tried to enjoy as much of his childhood as possible. Soon he will be a teenager and, well, I don't know how many more times I can just sit and watch him sleep.

My son is an only child. I am very proud of the person that he is. He is funny, intelligent, considerate, helpful, independent, happy, handsome, tender, well-mannered, good-spirited and soulful. I can trust him and depend on him. And though I have much more to teach him, I know I have to start letting go of his hand.

We can hold our loved ones' hands up to a point and then we must let go. The difficulty we have in doing this is peculiarly personal in each relationship, even if there is a universality of feeling that most parents share when their children grow up and let go of our hands.

We love our children best when we prepare ourselves for the time we no longer walk hand-in-hand...and when we prepare them as well. When we do this, we allow them to grow, seek and find for themselves. This includes their spiritual paths. There are places we can't go with them on their journey to find God. Just as there are places we must go to alone.

Today is a good day to prepare for the moment we must let go of the hand of someone we love...we will be there when they return.