I trust

Overwhelmed. Tired. Afraid. Worried. Tense. Too much. Just too much.

This is how I feel this moment. My chest is tight. My heart is racing. My body is stiff and achy. My brain is overloaded. My mind is blocked. My soul is heavy. And I feel that I can't deal. Not one more thing, please. Not today.

As I write, as I breathe slowly to calm the fire, I hear Silence say Trust. And so I repeat out loud, I trust, trusting that something magical happens. I trust, I whisper. I trust, I whisper again. I trust, and magic starts to happen. My mind shifts to my breath and alchemy begins.

I breathe, I trust. Breathe and trust. Breathe and trust a little bit more. The breath cools down my anxiety and the heat around my neck. Trust is lifting the heaviness away from my shoulders. I breathe and I trust and I watch as the swirl slows down. I keep breathing, slowly and deeply. I trust, I whisper. It's a mantra, it's a prayer, it's a letting go.

I trust my breath. I trust my ability to pause. I trust giving it a minute. I trust not rushing. I trust not worrying. I trust not reacting. I trust allowing my thoughts to slow down, the noise to quiet down, my body to stop fidgeting. I trust what I know.

Today is a good day to trust the wisdom in uncertainty, to trust the release, to trust the surrender, to trust the breath. Trying to control outcomes, people and circumstances only brings us grief and distress. Yet letting go to the breath and trusting something bigger than ourselves can bring us serenity, clarity, guidance, understanding and appreciation. Letting go to the breath and trusting can bring us to grace, transmuting our energy into something hopeful, something good.

Read the above again. As you read, be the I who breathes. Be the I who trusts. Trust.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

All better

I buy them in bulk–supplements, eye rewetting drops, incense, tea, and essential oils. A friend recently asked me why do I keep taking my supplements and doing everything I do surrounding the stuff I buy in bulk considering I'm healthy. Well, that's exactly why.

Her question, though, is reasonable. Many of us will do something until we feel all better and then stop. We fall back into unhealthy habits or stop doing for ourselves what works, what keeps us in good health, what helps our mood, what helps us cope, what keeps us limber, what keeps our relationships real, what keeps our mental stamina up, what keeps us on track to reach our goals.

Today is a good day to pick up where we left off. Let's keep up with our supplement intake, our meditation practice, our coffee with friends, our daily run, our mindful walks, our journaling, our naps, our yoga practice, our social media detox, our intermittent fasting, our art classes, our community service, our poetry readings, our reading of sacred texts, our prayer, our saying no to extraneous commitments, our gratitude practice, our being careful about what we participate in, our putting money in a savings account, our pausing to be in the moment, and everything else we do to keep ourselves well. Self-care has to be continuos and consistent. Let's do it and be all better.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Finders Keepers

She was looking for something suspicious and she found it. It ruined her day. This finding did not change her circumstances, it just made her miserable. She found something to be miserable about and she kept that feeling throughout the day. It made her irritable and bad-tempered. Her focus was now on difficulty, failure and hopelessness. She couldn't do anything productive.

We don't deny that there is betrayal, lying, injustice, inequity, unfairness, cruelty, criminal transgressions, abuse, and evil. Yet, there are also good deeds, integrity, fair play, virtue, dispassion, decency, forgiveness, and goodness. What we look for we find. What we find we keep. What we keep we use to affect our thoughts, our feelings and our actions. What we find shapes our attitude and our outlook on life. What we find helps us or hurts us.

Today is a good day to look for something good and let it infuse everything we say, think and do. We cannot right wrongs with disheartened anger. But we can do a world of good by bringing good out, making it a standard. Let's look for kindness, generosity, collaboration, grace, service, good will, courtesy, hospitality, compassion, understanding, and love. Let's allow these qualities to inspire us and to permeate our choices, our conversations, our behavior, and our deeds. Let the good we find be contagious. What we find, we keep. What will you find today?

Image found at eyesofodysseus.blogspot.com.

© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

The story

He's opened a box, deconstructed and flattened it to write on the inside of it. He holds his makeshift sign to tell passersby that he's HIV. The story on the box says Hello, I'm John, (I'm not using his real name to protect his identity) I'm HIV. He goes into details about his circumstances–homelessness, poverty, illness, hunger, addiction. He asks for help. He's John HIV.

John is many things, but he's not HIV. He has it. He's not it. He's been made to believe that he is a disease. He lives true to his belief that he is HIV and an addict rather than believing that he has HIV and an addiction. This belief keeps him hopeless, helpless, dependent, sick, and in the dark.

A few years ago a man told me that I was not a writer. He suggested that I say that I wrote rather than say that I was a writer. My ego was hurt. His intentions were unkind and small-minded, but he was right, even if for the wrong reasons. Yet, at that moment, I didn't understand the wisdom in releasing my self-concept from my external condition. Once I realized that who I am is not what I do or what I have, I found a thought that I could go to to ground myself, recalibrate, put things in perspective and discern. As Abraxhamanu would say, It's a cliché because it's true. We are not our circumstances.

Who we are is easily forgotten when we are reminded and remind ourselves of the choices we've made, what we have accomplished or not, the mistakes we've made, our perceived limitations, our shortfalls, what we own or what we have not attained, what we have been convinced of, our past conditioning, and how we compare to others and their standards. What if today we reminded ourselves of our true nature? Today is a good day to remind ourselves that we are, by design, everything that is good, peace, beings that can flow in the confidence of the gracious expression of the Universe. If we take time to be still and breathe, we find calm, rest, consolation, relief, joy, equanimity and ease. We find a sense of order. We tap into the deeper knowing of our purpose, that of spirits living a human condition. What we do or don't, what we have or don't, helps others create a story about us, but it is not our truth. Today, we remind ourselves of that.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.