Roll Call

"I am here."

Life gets hectic. Our attention gets divided many times throughout our day to the point we desensitize. We feel lost. We get lost. Time seems to consume itself in activities we don't quite remember. And then the day ends, another begins, and it seems to go the same way.

I caught myself in one of those moments. I was idling at a red traffic light looking out my window. I wondered what had I done all day. It was close to noon. I knew cognitively that I had taken care of many responsibilities. Yet, I felt out of touch. I whispered, "I am here." This helped me become aware of the moment – where I was, what the temperature felt like, the music playing on the radio.

I liked the exercise. I repeated it a few times during the day. Much like roll call, it is a calling of my presence to the moment, to life. Today is a good day to call on ourselves. Let's bring our attention to the moment. This is where we can enjoy anything, make a difference, be happy, make choices, take action, laugh, feel, cry, relax, taste life and breathe. Ask yourself, "Where are you?" Reply, "I am here."

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Invisibility

For many people, feeling invisible is an awful feeling. I should know. I have felt invisible many times. It is that feeling that you don't belong, that you are not valued, that others don't care. Yet, I have discovered that being invisible to others can be a good thing. This invisibility is different. It is one we choose, not out of a sense of separation, difference, or conceitedness, but out of a sense of purpose and reverence to what is important to us. This is not an exclusion, but an inclusion of what is essential. It is a self-disentanglement.

I have become invisible. It was not my intention. It was not on purpose. I became so after choosing many times to stay in, to focus, to go to the beach without an announcement, to listen from a distance, to watch from the branches, to disconnect from social media, to sit in silence, to remain in stillness, to keep my dreams private, to keep contact with a close circle of friends and loved ones–even if briefly. I don't know exactly when it happened, but it did and I am glad. After a while I realized, through the eyes of others, how much I had accomplished in a bit of time. I had less distractions and interruptions, which gave me space and time. I also received less conflicting and unsolicited advice, less opinions about my work and creative endeavors and less negative energy flowing my way. This allowed for clarity and discernment. I could see.

I could also be more present. My mind settled. I was able to let other things be without my involvement, especially those things that pull my attention but are not important and do not advance my path. This helped me rediscover what brings me joy and to make more meaningful and sincere connections. I cannot wait to reconnect with my wider circle of meaningful friends and family. It will be so much sweeter.

Invisibility can be a source of power. Being invisible can help us regain our sense of self, empowering us to achieve what we know is in our power to achieve. In invisibility we can be indomitable. We keep our power. We don't divert it. In invisibility we are not blocked, obstructed, or throttled for, as Frankie said to Grace, "...can't see me, ...can't stop me."

Today is a good day to find our haven within, to retreat into ourselves, to fill the wells of our spirits with inspiration, that we may find clarity, vitality, and the answers and motivation we need. With our energy spent on what matters, we can't be stopped. We will be seen, or not, once we do what we are meant to do. Meanwhile, we will stealthily work, create, learn, serve, give, share, and grow empowered in and by our invisibility.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

The Sum of all Fears

Our fears have been brought to the surface. The current atmosphere is not new, but with news and social media reporting terrorist attacks immediately, it seems the world is a more dangerous place. James Hardie-Bick, who studied the works of Ernest Becker and other existential thinkers, asserted that human evil has its roots in our need for "meaning, purpose, and self-esteem gained by achieving a heroic image of ourselves." In his work, he discusses how fear of our own death causes us to behave in hostile ways even in the absence of any immediate danger. We stereotype and reject people who are different from us to protect ourselves from the anxiety we feel out of not understanding. We bring about evil by trying to overcome it.

War does not solve conflict. War is the conflict. It does not reconcile differences, heal, or convince anyone of an opposing view. It's purpose is misguided. It does not bring peace. War is blameless. War is war. The responsibility for it lies with us. Peace begins with us.

The reasons for war may be important, but we don't act from that place. That is where conflict is. We find common ground. What is common ground? We are. We are people, all of us, who love, who dream, who have families and personal struggles, who believe as we have learned to believe, who have yearnings, who dream for something better, and who want to be significant, consequential and relevant in this world. Us against them gets us none of what we want. It creates divisions between us. Focusing on our differences and acting from that place breaks our spirits, spreads fear and hate, and breeds more fear and hate. We share this world. Appreciation and respect go a long way in healing our it, knowing and acknowledging that there are different ways of viewing the world.

Harmonious coexistence begins this moment. We don't blame ISIL, the Bush Administration, independent jihadist groups, the Vatican, AQAP, Syrian refugees, the French, or any other group. We cannot find solutions, healing or reparation there. We start by recognizing diversity and letting it be, not wishing for it to be anything different from what it is. The sum of all fears lies in what we don't understand, in what we find to be disparate. Today, let us try to understand and see our sameness. Let us add our similarities and move away from fear and closer to hope and love.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

A child is born

Children are not born without form, ideas, shapes or meaning. They are not born blank. They are not born to be filled in, formed, molded. They are not extensions of ourselves. They are not born to live the lives we haven't lived for our sake. Children develop into who they are. We are here as guides, mentors, protectors of our children. We are also their students.

He speaks softly and patiently as he gestures gently with his long, philosophical fingers. He has mystical questions and his own esoteric explanations to life. He is brilliant – in the light he gives off, in the harmony and peace he brings. As his mom, I am not lackadaisical, although some may think so. I am learning to be an allowing mom – observing him and honoring his unfolding.

I do not want to instill in him my fears, insecurities and anxieties. I want to help him realize his purpose, to know where possibility lies, to choose happiness, to have hope, to have faith in the Silence I have come to know through him. I want him to wander and wonder, to come to wisdom through his own exploration, to be self-awake, free of learned self-judgment and condemnation and the pursuit of goals set by others. I want to support and uplift him in a counterculture walk up a path of love, grace, joyful fulfillment and happiness. I want his commitments and convictions to rise from a place of knowing, not from obligation. I want his sense of responsibility to rise from self-security and love.

A child is born, not given to us to fix, program or make into something else. My child was born for many reasons. I understand one of those reasons to be a reminder of the goodness and the magic we are born with. Today is a good day to remember that we are children too. We were born with a path and a purpose of our own, a journey to be traveled for our fulfillment, our full realization. Let's take a moment to breathe into the quiet stillness within to find our joy, our reasons, our purpose, our intentions, our own feelings, our untainted Selves and live from there. Let's go there frequently, until we do it more than we listen to our conditioning. Let's go there enough so that it is there where we begin our thoughts and actions and so live the life we meant to live for ourselves.  

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Unfurl...a meditation

Find a spot where you can sit comfortably and undisturbed for a few minutes. Take a seat. Let's meditate.

We will do this with our eyes open. Our breath will be conscious and unhurried. Slowly in. Slower out. We will take out time. Time will not matter, but it will make a difference. We will be actively using our hands. When we open them, we will keep them relaxed. We will not straighten our fingers.

Let's begin.

Tighten your fists. Look at your hands as you hold your two fists tightly. Breathe in, deeply.

As you breathe out, slowly open your hands. Watch them open.

Breathe in. Hold your fists tightly. This is tension.

Breathe out. Slowly open your hands. Release the tension.

Breathe in. Make your fists. This is worry.

Breathe out. Slowly let go of the fists. Let go of worry.

Breathe in. Watch your fists. The more you tighten, the more they tremble. This is judgment.

Breathe out, slowly. Loosen your grip, loosen your thoughts.

Breathe in. Make your fists. Make them tight. This is attachment.

Breathe out. Slowly open your hands to receive.

Breathe in. Tighten your fists around your circumstances. You are tired.

Breathe out, slowly. Watch your hands relax. Focus on the now.

Breathe in. Watch your fists tightly bound around uncertainty. This is anxiety.

Breathe out. Slowly. Ease your hands open. All will be well.

Breathe in. Make a very tight fist. This one hurts. This is fear.

Breathe out. Slowly let your hand open to love.

Leave your hand open, unfurled. Breathe in.

Breathe out. Feel the difference.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Release. Unfurl. Let it be.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Big Brother

Some days are tougher than others to be a big brother. I don't mean a government agency spying on our every move, but to actually be a big brother.

My uncle passed away earlier this year. His children travelled here after the news for the services and the funeral. At a national cemetery, the service followed the protocol for a veteran's funeral. My cousin, his oldest son, bravely received the American Flag for the family in his dad's honor. This was tough to watch. How much tougher was it to bear this symbol of his passing for our family? This was a tough day to be a big brother.

Afterwards, my eldest uncle, the eldest brother, spoke in remembrance of his younger brother. How difficult it must have been to speak without breaking his voice into a million little pieces. He was big brother extraordinaire, offering comfort and consolation to his niece, nephews and his other four siblings when he himself needed comfort and consolation. And, yet, this is one of the big lessons, this is how we receive what we want and need – by giving it. This was a tough day to be a big brother.

My late uncle had three children. The big brother who sat sturdy to receive the flag was his middle son. His eldest daughter, in a manner of speaking, became a big brother that day as well. She had to make difficult and grown up decisions about her father's death. She was composed, elegant, brave. And she set a beautiful example for the rest of us. How do you make these complicated, important and impactful decisions without calling your dad for advice? For her too, this was a tough day to be a big brother.

Yesterday, the man who had been my father-in-law for eighteen years passed away. My son's grandfather died minutes before we could say goodbye. In the sadness, I didn't realize until today that it is now my ex-husband's time to embody this difficult big brother role. This, no doubt, will be a tough day to be a big brother.

As I type, I am still too close to mourning to know with certainty how the following days will unfold. As he travels here to be with his younger brothers he will have to make decisions as big brothers do and to set an example for his children, nephews and nieces during a tough few days to be a big brother.

Today these departed big brothers watch over us. This is a comforting thought. In the aftermath of illness, death and funerals, weeping, nostalgia and the stages of grieving, we are left with the memories made together, the legendary stories that others tell about them, the lessons they directly or indirectly taught us, the appreciation we develop and the faith that their spirits rest with Spirit. I am marked by both of these experiences. They bring me perspective, gratitude, hope and much love. One day too, as the eldest daughter, I will have to be a big brother, but for now I still have my dad and he continues to bless me, comfort me, protect me, guide me, teach me and make me laugh. He is making sure that when that day comes I am as ready as anyone can be on such a day.

We send Light and Love to all big brothers. May the spirit of your deceased loved ones be a light to you.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

What

Why we do what we do is not as important a question as our what. We have to answer what to understand why.

What is important to us? What do I want? What do I want to do? The answers to these questions are our what. My what includes my family, my love life, my spiritual life, my writing, my entrepreneurial goals, my travel plans, my financial goals, fulfilling work, time for leisure and relaxation, equilibrium, joy, prayer and meditation, my close relationships, sharing what I learn, contributing in line with my purpose, following my path and being well. My what is what matters to me. Yet, sometimes, I forget what that is.

We get distracted and sidetracked. We turn our attention to what we feel we are missing in our experience and to a limited perception of our circumstances. We fall into habits that pull us away from what we want to achieve. We also fall into gossip and get involved in issues that are not our concern. We procrastinate. We worry. We rile ourselves up. We are bothered by what others think or say. We get tired. This is when we should turn to our what.

Meditating on my what me centers me, realigns my focus and helps me see clearly. I get energized and the impediments to my what fade away. I return to a flow.

Today is a good day to remind ourselves of our what, to smile when we think of it and to bring our attention to it purposefully. Doing so will change the tone of our experience. It will also change the energy we give off. What we do will matter because it will be attuned to what matters to us and this will have a positive and significant impact on what we do, how we do it and what comes out of it.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.