Friday, June 28, 2013

Momentary lapse of judgment

Who has not had a momentary lapse of judgment? I, for one, have had quite a few. I have said the wrong thing, made rash decisions, dated the wrong people, over-indulged the day before a big meeting and emotionally overspent buying things that I didn't need. After these episodes, I have felt regret and self-condemnation. I am not alone. Others have had moments of impulse they are sorry for–the angry insult to a loved one, the weekend tattoo, the one-night stand and the outraged letter now printed in the newspaper. These are momentary lapses of judgment in the traditional sense of the phrase.

I propose we have more lapses in judgment, albeit not the kind in which we act out of fear, emotional urges or pressure. I suggest more purposeful lapses in judgment. What if the judgment we slip out of is the prejudice we have towards others, our self-imposed roles, the what-if's of the past and the future, our idea of how things should be, and our resistance to what is? Letting go and accepting this moment as it is is the only way to attain true happiness. Everything happens in this moment. We cannot do, say, change, accept or think anything in the past. We cannot do anything in the future. Having our mind on the future creates anxiety and, even if we hold our mind in hopes for the better, it keeps us from enjoying this moment, from being present. We cannot dance, move, breathe, experience life outside of this moment. What if for one moment we lapse in the judgment we live in?

This moment is a good moment to breathe, to feel what is going on around you and to accept life as it is. Have no thought about what you see, hear or feel this moment. Release your opinion about everything for just one moment. Have a momentary lapse of judgment...and enjoy it.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013


I put the Power of Now into practice. I sat and looked around me, just looked. I described in my head what I was observing with no sentiment involved. There he is, reading T. J. English, shirtless, sipping coffee. The morning silence is broken by a passing car. There is a coolness in the breeze. The air smells like the sea. Our fingers our interlaced, his right hand, my left hand. My pen and notebook are ten feet away. I read from his Kindle. The sky is clear. The sun is intense, even at this hour. After a few moments, I found myself enjoying the present, appreciating life. In that moment, I had no worries. My thoughts afterwards became kinder.

In the time after this moment, I kept coming back to the word allow. I had allowed the moment to be as it was. I then extended that attitude to the people around me, especially those I love. In watching them with no opinion, I became sensitive to them, enjoying them and taking pleasure in who they are.

Allowing others to be is not permissive. It is a reverence to our true nature. It frees us to know the type of relationship we are willing to enjoy with another. Allowing others to be releases tension in relationships. It shifts our focus from a call to judgment to a call to love. Allowing others to be, we allow ourselves freedom–of thought, of feeling, of control, of time. We also allow ourselves appreciation of the uniqueness in others, their special qualities, their frailties, their humanness–we see them with fresh eyes.

When we allow, which is surrendering to what is and who is, we change our energy, exerting positive vibrations attracting more of those positive vibes towards us. When we give up the need to control people and situations, we are not  disappointed, we are surprised. When we allow, we surrender to the possibilities.

By grasping, we lose. By allowing with our hearts, minds and hands open, we receive wisdom, peace, understanding, enjoyment, freedom and love.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

It's not easy being green

Remember Kermit's signature song It's not easy being green? This title has become a phrase we use to refer to melancholy over our lot in life. For many, it's not easy being green, but we feel this way because we care about what others think of us and wether they approve of us or not.

What we project to others stems from what we believe about ourselves. We base our identity around our being green, so to speak. We compare how we look, what we do, what we have, where we live, what we have achieved, what car we drive and other external factors with others. When we feel inadequate, we receive that feedback from our interaction with other people. We seek the approval of others in order to validate ourselves forgetting that nothing outside of ourselves can affirm us. This continuous seeking keeps us in a spiral of dissatisfaction and incapable of forging genuine relationships with others. We can't offer love, understanding, appreciation, respect and love if we don't have it in us, if we are always looking for it elsewhere. We stay green, sad, confused, afraid and unhappy.

Today is a good day to let go of our need to be liked and approved of by others. Remember your intrinsic value. It is in you. You have a higher purpose. You were created the way you are on purpose. You have value beyond your ego's insistence that your importance depends on the judgment of others. You have a contribution to make with your character, your spirit, your talents, skills and abilities. Connect to your inner-Self for strength, discernment, self-love and your true worth. Confidence comes from your Self which doesn't change. The world is constantly changing it's opinion. Let your inner Being be your foundation and make your life choices from the knowledge inherent within. Your lot in life then will be one you are happy wit. You will only not care about being green, you will be thankful for it.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Gentle rain

A few years ago I bought a shower head that pours out a gentle stream of water. When I turn it on and close my eyes, I feel a tender rain washing over me. It is designed so that if feels that way. Over the last few months, though, it has been spouting off a forceful gush of water that can be painful at times. I took a look at it and noticed that many of holes are clogged. The ones that are (somewhat) clear, are strenuously pushing water out and hurting my skin in the process. It didn't become that way overnight.

I think this happens to most of us overtime and, like my shower head, we need to take a look at what is clogging us. The effects of these small obstructions can be hurtful. We may not realize how strongly and inconsiderate we are being with others. We may not realize that we hurt ourselves as well because we stop the flow.

What can interfere with our flow is anger, resentment, pride, ego trips, a sense of righteousness, unwillingness, selfish wants, a sense of entitlement, fear, stress, jealousy, self-condemnation, control, attachment, greed, insincerity, insecurity and so on. When we get to this point, we irritate and create friction. To get back to our gentle nature, we need to let go, embrace humility and serve. This does not mean that we value ourselves any less. This means that we are on purpose. Our thoughts become aligned with Spirit and we flow in goodness.

Today is a good day to flow gently, for us and for those around us. When we flow gently we serve, we love, we fulfill our intentions in reciprocity. We are telling the Universe that we are willing to be a channel of blessings, prosperity, kindness, friendship, love, success, joy, happiness and all good things. In being a current, we receive that which we offer. Today is a good day to gently rain...

Friday, June 21, 2013


We come dressed with our own concerns, ideas, needs, prejudices, thoughts, moods and beliefs. For most of us, each one of our outfits is a disguise. Our outerwear covers our fears, our insecurities, our sense of being lost, our feelings of loneliness, our longings, our frustration and our sadness. We come across to the world with attitudes, ego-trips, arrogance, dependence, manipulation, a sense of knowing-it-all or not needing anyone or anything. This coverup deepens our separation from others.

What if we came naked? Free from attitudes, biases, assumptions, moods and opinions, we could see others as they are and they could see us as we are. If we relate to one another with no masks on, we could understand, help, enjoy and love each other. When we are unveiled, we release the pressure to fill others' expectations of us. In turn, we allow others to be themselves with us. In our wounded and fearful culture, we need healing, peace, acceptance and empathy. We want to love and be loved. We can only start the mending if we are real.

Today is a good day to come as we truly are. Let's bare ourselves of the self-imposed guises we wear. Let's open our hearts and our minds to the beauty that lies within us and others. When we do, we can really connect to and enjoy each other. We may even be surprised by how much we are understood and loved. Let's get naked.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

What's not to like?

One of the questions I get the most through this blog relates to dealing with difficult people. The most fundamental reason people come into our lives is to teach us something about ourselves. People we find difficult have qualities that we have, avoid or fear within us. In understanding them, we understand ourselves. In learning to cope with these traits in others we learn, we grow and perfect ourselves.

Last night I sat with a dear friend for one of those late-night conversations no one plans but that are always a gift. She was telling me about all the great people in her life and how she could not believe the course her life had taken. I interrupted her to say they mirror who you are. She doesn't realize it. This is the gem I found: her eyes sparkled when she recognized herself in others.

We reflect to each other not only the negative aspects of our characters, but the beautiful and noble pieces of us. Today is a good day to find yourself in those who you admire, like and look up to. You are in each other. There is a reason you are in each others lives'. You have attracted who you are to yourself. You like them and so, you like yourself. What's not to like?

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

You only have to get through today

For many of us this is a particularly hectic time. There's so much going on within all areas of our lives. We go from one thing to the next without pause, enjoyment or reflection. We do more than one thing at a time to get ahead, yet we feel we don't do enough. There's still so much to do. We have filled our agendas to the brim with no room to breathe. What happens if we get sick? What if we run into an old friend who wants to meet for cocktails? What if the car breaks down? What if we get a last minute invitation to a concert? What if the power goes out as we are about to finish writing a report? What if we are heartbroken in the midsts of it all?

We have planned ourselves so tightly that if anything unexpected happens we lose our sense of stability and control. It happens even for those who fly by the seat of their pants. Even though they have no plan or course of action, if anything unforeseen happens, it throws them into a spiral of confusion, stress and frustration. None of us like to feel this way. None of us are really successful when we operate this way. None of us are on purpose when we live this way.

Multitasking, new efficiency methods, sleeping less hours and speeding through tasks do not alleviate our collective overwhelmness. There's really nothing we can do this moment to lighten our loads. This is something we have to work on. Yet we can change our perception to reduce our anxiety by refusing to think about what didn't get done yesterday and about everything that must be done tomorrow. We at The Soulcerer's Apprentice have a mantra that helps us cope when life gets frenzied: we only have to get through today. 

Close your eyes, take a deep breathe, smile. Exhale slowly. Breathe in deeply again, this time repeating the mantra mentally: I only have to get through today. Exhale slowly, letting go. Breathe the mantra again, exhale–become empty of breath, stagnation and stress. Breathe the mantra in, exhale the stress out. Breathe the mantra in, exhale the frustration out. Breathe the mantra in, exhale...

You can practice this meditation exercise anywhere, anytime for as long as you can. It will help calm your nervous system, center you and release tension in your body. This has a cumulative effect. In time, as you empty your mind of worries, your spirit lightens and coping with life becomes easier. In the meantime, remember that you only have to get through today.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Drawing the line

Close your eyes, stand on the sand, draw a line. This is your line. This is where you set the boundary for what you will accept from anyone and what situations you accept for yourself. You allow everything and everyone to come to it...just to it.

Many of us want to draw a line at our jobs, with our friends, in our relationships, with our family, in organizations we belong to, at school and our with our neighbors. But we don't. We don't because we are afraid of what comes next. If we draw a line, then we have to stick to our decision, we have to act according to the new agreement we have established with ourselves. Drawing the line can also mean that others may take action we were not counting on. This is ok. Remember that the Universe supports our decisions. When we draw a line, whatever happens after is part of a bigger scheme. You are loved, protected and supported. 

Today is a good day to draw a line. Lovingly set a boundary that clearly marks the line up until which you will accept mistreatment, foul language, disrespect, neglect, deceit, abuse, contempt, bullying and manipulation from others. This is an emotional decision, I know. Yet nothing is insurmountable. You are loved, protected and supported. Go ahead. Draw the line. 

Monday, June 17, 2013


Tantrums are usually associated with children. More and more though, we see grown-ups losing their tempers in emotional outbursts. We go through meltdowns mainly because we don't know what to do with what we are feeling. We take other people and situations personally. We react with stubbornness, crying, yelling, anger, defiance and resistance when others don't act the way we want them to or when things don't go our way. Most common tantrums are angry rants, tirades, snapping at others, loud confrontations and violent speeches. Tantrums can escalate to throwing items across a room and physical violence towards another. We throw tantrums in person, by ourselves, via email, text messages and on Facebook and we do so because we are stressed, worried, exhausted, overwhelmed, angry, hurt or feel misunderstood or disrespected. When we get to this point, our emotions take over our thinking.

We can develop ongoing coping skills to alleviate our reactive responses to everyday life triggers. Meditation, developing a stronger connection to our Source, reinforcing our relationships and exercise are some of the ways we can create a more resilient spirit. In meditation, we can build up strength. Aligning with our Source opens us up to perceive others and situations from love rather than from ego. With a network of friends and loved ones, we feel less isolated and more understood. With exercise we release pent up energy, calming our nervous system.

The moment you feel anger rising, take a deep breath, smile (smiling has a positive biochemical effect in the body), release your judgment about what is going on and your need to be right. Remind yourself that we all have issues and this situation is not about you. Change your point of view.

If your tantrums are out of control and you find yourself extremely angry, throwing things and in violent and physical outbursts, then seek professional help.

Today is a good day to let go of your belief that you are not understood, that things must go your way. Be willing to see things differently. Breathe.

Friday, June 14, 2013

All is well

In this moment, I have no worries.

In this moment, I observe.

In this moment, I have no judgment.

In this moment, I need nothing.

In this moment, I am content.

In this moment, I breathe.

In this moment, I am still.

I     a m     i n s i d e     o f    t h i s     m o m e n t . . .

In this moment, I hear.

In this moment, I see.

In this moment, I feel.

In this moment, I go within.

In this moment, I find peace.

In this moment, I am loved and protected.

There is nothing outside of this moment. All is well.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

To be...

Last night I sat among some incredible people. Novelists, poets, journalists, aspiring writers, accomplished writers, narrators, professors, lovers of literature and over 4,000 books from different countries and cultures (both the people and the books) surrounded me in an inspiring city loft. I wish I had enough room here to paint the feeling for you. My heart was warmed over. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that at one point I turned to my friend and said thank you. It is because of him that I am here, in the heart of literature and culture of this beautiful island. He is one link in a long chain of synchronicity. He, in turn, said that he was just there to identify me. I knew you when I first saw you, he said.

As I write this, I realize that I am living the life I hoped for years ago. I think about his comment about knowing me and realize that what he means is that I am what I want to experience. He is too. There's so much written about attracting what we want. Yet, I think life changed for me when I stopped wanting and started being. Wanting implies that we don't have. Being, on the other hand, is fullness, living on purpose. Being creates a field of energy that puts us where we need to be, when we need to, doing that which we need to do. Being expands our consciousness. When we are who we really are, we do what we love and we serve the Universe with the talents, skills and abilities given to us and we enjoy all of it.  When we simply are, we are guided to what fills our hearts with happiness, accomplishing our dreams. We are led through a chain of synchronicity. Places, people, resources, ideas, insight, solutions and answers appear to us when the time is right.

Today is a good day to realize that wanting exerts energy that we need in order to be. Let's just be. Who we are meant to be hides behind the clutter of what we feel is missing, of what we believe we don't have. Let's get past this layer. What we need is around us. What we will need is on its way.

Today, I am.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Don't make your mind up...

I am day three into a new set of habits. It's not going well. Every day, since I started my resolve,  I have had a set-back. Just now, I went back to the very old habit I swear I am done with. How can this happen when my mind is made up to change?

Ah! That's the issue. I made my mind up, but I ignored my heart. My mind is tricky. It thinks it knows, that it is in charge. As long as I believe that, I will fail my attempts at change.

Our minds have no influence over our hearts. It is our hearts that influence our minds.  If we want to commit to new habits, to changes in the ways we behave, think or react, then we have to start with our soul.

When we start with our heart, first of all, we know what it is we want to affect within us. When we go within, we will know where we need to go, what we need to do, who we need to love and the corresponding action or new habits to take on. This raises our level of awareness to pick up signs, messages, confirmation, new possibilities and supportive synchronistic experiences. In other words, tackling on new habits is not so hard because the habit stemmed from our truth and not from what we or others think is the right thing to do. When we start at the level of our soul, the Universe collaborates and the ego settles down. Then we flow in a new direction, strengthened and supported in our new choices.

Today is a good day to let go of the habits you are struggling with and take a moment to listen to your heart. Make your heart up. Let it be the power behind your mind.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Should I stay or should I go?

Much has been said about quieting our minds so that we may hear what guidance the Universe has for us. Try as some people may, they cannot hear the subtle voice of Spirit. This does not mean that they are not quiet enough, meditate enough or align themselves enough. This just means that the Universe communicates in different ways with each of us.

Spirit relates to us in ways that we can understand. For me, messages come through what I love the most, books and music, and through what I am good at, numbers. For others, dreams are like movie reels showing them scenes in full color with answers they need. Others hear clear voices (and no, they are not crazy). Then there are the synchronistic events that happen to most of us in which signs and messages appear through apparent "coincidences".

I was recently in a situation that I wasn't sure if I should stay or I should leave. To be honest, my wants interfered so strongly that I was confused about the answer I was receiving. In a moment of complete willingness and openness I asked myself how do you feel about staying? My answer was bad. I felt bad as in my chest hurt and my body felt ill bad. There was my answer. As soon as I realized it, I acted. The Universe has been supporting my decision since.

Today is a good day to appreciate our connection with Spirit. It is there. It is guiding us. It is communicating with us. Become aware of what you are concerned about. The Universe is listening. Pay attention to what you see, hear and even smell around you. Then you will know if you should stay or you should go...

Friday, June 7, 2013

What was I thinking?

I don't know what happened. But things did not go as planned. Well, the truth is that I had no plan. I rushed through the morning mindlessly checking items off a to-do list. I was not in my best mood. I dealt with grumpy people, was disappointed a few times and had to deal with a few dropped balls. I finally stopped and asked myself, What are you thinking? 

This is not a rhetorical question. I was not conscious of my thoughts, yet the root of everything that was going wrong with my day started with whatever I was thinking.

Every one of our thoughts is a creative one. Everything ever created was first a thought in someone's mind. Every action stems from a thought as well. Every reaction is a result of a thought. Our subconscious mind hears everything and it becomes the filter through which we experience life. In other words, we get whatever we think about whether we want it or not.

Let's be real. If you are thinking a million dollars, what you are really thinking is that you don't have a million dollars, you're thinking in terms of greed, lack or both. This is not what I am writing about. What I am referring to is the stuff of life. The attitudes you receive during the course of a day, the set-backs you go through, the disappointments, the missed opportunities and such.

Today is a good day to be mindful of your thoughts. Do not engage your mind with what you don't want to find, with what you don't want to deal with, what you don't like in others, what bothers you about this day, with the ex who doesn't deserve you, the extra pounds you want to lose, the fact that you are underpaid or that you don't have a job. Let me help. Keep your eyes on the prize. Think about solutions. If you don't have any, then be thankful for anything and open yourself up to receive them. Embrace the uncertainty. One thought creates another. Make sure they are on what you want to expand in your life.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Nothing to do

In our search for meaning and for a happier and more peaceful life experience, we look for formulas, secrets and methods that will help transform our lives. I have read some fantastic books written to share with us the how-to's of a simplified, happy and successful life. In addition to books, I have listened to speakers and attended conferences aimed at helping us reach happiness. But what we are looking for is not in any of these books or in any of these speeches. What I have learned after reading these books, attending these conferences and listening to these speakers is that all along, we have had the answers. What we seek in terms of a state of mind and spiritual guidance is within us and we get there by removing the obstacles that stand in our way.

What are the obstacles? The obstacles that prevent us from seeing what we hold within are set ways, misguided beliefs, mistaken thoughts, memes, false ideas, prejudice, expectations of a specific outcome,  insistence on being right and fear that we hold on to. When we insist on the way we think, we put up a barrier to creative thoughts and new ideas. When we expect a specific outcome, we put up another barrier to imaginative solutions and better results than those we could see in our mind. When we persist on being right, we obstruct learning, collaboration and growth. When we hold on to fear, we fence our hearts to the possibilities available to us.

How do we remove the obstacles? Simple. Let go. (I said simple, not easy). You don't have to take extra steps or follow a method. J u s t. L e t. G o. Visualize yourself closing your hand and holding in an obstacle, then open your hand and let it go. Trust that an action that small carries all the faith the Universe needs in order to point the way in. Unencumbered by mental toxicity and blocks, clarity, intuition, happiness, peace, calmness, simple joy and wisdom become more accessible to you. This opens up awareness and it is here that we find our meaning. There's nowhere else to look and nothing else to do.

Monday, June 3, 2013


You are talented, bright, skilled and creative. You are clear on what you are capable of doing, on what you want to accomplish and on what you can offer the world. So why are you stuck? Why do you take one step forward and two steps back? You sabotage yourself. Many of us do. 

Many times self-sabotage is born out of a fear of failing or of being judged. This fear is deep-rooted in limiting beliefs about who we really are and patterns of behavior we have repeated over and over again. Moving forward takes courage and truth. We need to face what we believe about ourselves and we need to face our habits honestly. 

We sabotage ourselves when we fail to wake up early to make that important call that could expand an opportunity, when we spend our money on a whim rather than saving it for the goal we had set up, when we expend our physical energy until we crash, when we make the same choices over and over expecting a different result, when we know the truth yet ignore it. Habits that impede our growth can be broken. When we keep these habits they become our personal instruments of self-sabotage. 

Who we are is who we are now, not who we have been. We need to let go of our have-been story. We need to hold on to the vision of the best version of ourselves while being present in this moment. Then we can make conscious choices versus reactive choices. We need to make choices that agree with our Self, our purpose, our goals and our dreams.

Today is a good day to treat yourself as though you are what you see yourself as. Choose fearlessly knowing that those choices–which are inline with your Self–are supported by the Universe. Break the habits that keep you from doing what you know you can do. Instead of sabotaging yourself you will be collaborating with your higher purpose and so moving in the direction of a joyful, meaningful, productive, happy, creative and fulfilled life.

Saturday, June 1, 2013


Kryptonite is any surviving fragment of the planet Krypton, Superman's hometown. This radioactive material is the man of steel's Achille's heel, weakening him, annihilating his super-powers whenever he is in close proximity to it.

The word kryptonite has become synonymous with anything that weakens us. What weakens us? Fear weakens us. Fear sucks our inspiration and our positive thoughts. It is a vibration of our thoughts. We are Superman, in a sense. We are able to manifest what we could naturally accomplish. Yet fear gets in the way.

What do we fear? We fear failure, making mistakes, judgment, negative opinions, criticism, natural disasters, illness, loss, having to start over, and other debilitating ideas. Operating on the basis of fear, we do not become the super-version of ourselves, that version of us that brings to planet Earth a unique set of talents, skills, gifts, abilities and knowledge.

The antidote to our kryptonite is knowing that we are loved and protected, that well-being is our natural state. If we shift our thoughts from fear to enthusiasm, passion and love, the guidance, protection, help, resources, people, information, advice–in short, everything we need–will appear. To shield ourselves from the effects of fear, we align ourselves to Spirit. When we do, thoughts of impossibility and doubt dissipate, our confidence is boosted on divine power and our strength is fortified by God within. Now that's super-power...fearless living our potential...