Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Hit and run

We think it is healthy to vent, to air our frustrations, to let out what is bothering us. To an extent, it is. Yet there comes a point in which there's a diminishing of benefit to our venting. When we vent, we relive that moment. We bring into the present the incident, the situation or the person that got under our skin. We become addicted to the temporary attention our anger gets us and to the release of energy. We increase our need to vent because we do not know what to do when we feel angry, irritated or upset at another or in certain situations. That energy we release is reactive.

Venting is not only letting out steam with a friend who will listen, but also the blurting out we do at drivers who cut us off in traffic, the blow up we have at the customer service rep on the phone and the spewing unto our spouses, children and other loved ones. Some confuse this with clearing the air. It is not. This is a hit and run. We hit someone else with our annoyances, discontent and anger releasing what bothers us without consideration for any damage and any harm we do. We run, done with the wrecking, leaving behind hostility, bitterness and resentment, a trail of anguish and negativity. We feel better (momentarily), leaving mayhem behind.

We need to strengthen our emotional core, to center ourselves in such a way that when we get angry, we do not act out of anger. When we go within, we find satisfaction and we don't look for it in the reaction of those who listen to our grievances. Within, we find stability, acceptance and connectedness. We also find, as we practice silence and stillness, new ways of seeing people and circumstances. We find calmness and a relaxation of strong emotions. We lose the need to rant, scold and be verbally violent. Today is a good day to be aware of the energy we leave behind for it affects others and what they, in turn, leave behind.

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