Monday, April 14, 2014


Invisible. That is how I felt early this morning. I was completely in ego. Friends are having birthdays without me, people are succeeding and forgetting my contribution and the limelight is being spread on a few, leaving me craving a taste of it. You are great. No, you are great. No, you are…and so it goes between them. And I, I sat here wallowing in a diminished view of myself. Invisible.

I whispered the word, repeatedly…invisible, invisible, invisible. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." Quoted from Antoine de Saint-Exupèry's The Little Prince, this has been one of my favorite quotes for a very long time. I try to remember it when seeing others, yet I never turned it over on myself. I remembered it this morning as I saw myself in my frail, little ego. What is essential, I understood…essential, as in basic, fundamental, absolutely necessary, vitally important, indispensable, completely realized, absolute, perfect…and having no obvious external causes. Invisible, I am. Essential, I am. As I moved from ego to Being, I felt an ataraxia, an emotional tranquility, come over me. I am where I need to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing in the greater scheme.

My path is another. My purpose quite clear. Remembering this gives me peace, and a heartfelt happiness for the birthdays celebrated without me, the success enjoyed by those I appreciate and the limelight shone upon those whose work merits laudation. I observe, as in a ritual–an observance of the fulfilling of purpose all around me.

I struggle with ego several times a day. Today, I moved from ego to essence, to why I am here–a sort of contemplative who, in a contemporary existence–with everything that that entails, finds holiness in all, does each thing with sacredness and prays with her hands as she moves, as she writes, as she creates, as she touches. I honor the visibility in others. I honor the invisibility as well, the essential nature in all of us.

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