Wednesday, December 19, 2012

From arguing to grace...

Have you ever had an argument with someone that left such hurtful feelings that it changed or ended the relationship? Years later, do you remember what the argument was about?

Many times, it is not the why of the argument but the how of the argument that hurts us. In a disagreement we defend our points of view which is to defend ourselves and our egos. We don't see the other person's viewpoint, we don't understand them. We close our hearts. Our tones of voice change, our facial expressions change and our postures change in an effort to be right. The reason of the argument no longer prevails, but the separation does.

When you find yourself disagreeing with someone, let them be right even if you feel they are wrong. This does not mean that you deny the truth. It just means that you see how human they are. They are acting from their level of awareness. See them gently and speak to them gently. Open your heart, for until you do you cannot understand.

Be willing to see things differently, and you will. Give up judging, criticizing, attacking and blaming. When you do, your tone of voice, your body language and your words come forth from your very best self, from your Spirit. Grace fills the air between. What could be a hurtful encounter between two people is now an opportunity for growth and collaboration.

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