Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Terms of endearment

I had to rush out of my office a little bit ago in the pouring rain. I grabbed my essentials and ran out the door and into the car which I had left out of the garage this morning. I was wet and out of sync. As I was driving out of the complex I reached for the remote control to open the exit gate. I pressed on the button. Nothing happened. I pressed again. Nothing. I pressed one more time. You guessed it, nothing happened. There's a red indicator light that came on telling me the battery is fine.  Was it a problem with the signal? Not exactly.

In the rush, I grabbed the wrong remote. It is identical to the one I needed, but it is different nonetheless. It emits a different signal. It is different on the inside.

I think about the ways in which we claim to treat everyone the same. We don't. We can't. We can't treat everyone the same because people are not the same.

In all of my relationships I have developed a special language with the other person. I relate differently to each one of my friends and each one of the people I love. In my romantic relationships I have never called two people the same term of endearment. I haven't done it purposefully. What I call them to demonstrate my affection developed naturally from the chemistry of the two. I sense that the people who have terms of endearment for me naturally think of me in those terms, but, more than that, they treat me different, because I am different. It shows in the way they speak to me.

Much like grabbing the wrong remote, the people in our lives will not all respond the same to our words, body language and tone of voice. Today is a good day to listen, see and feel the other speak to them in a language that you both relate to. I am not saying you need to call them babycakes. I suggest full attention, eye contact, and a genuine smile. The language will develop naturally. Being wet and out of sync can sometimes make us forget how to love and relate to the other. But treating each other in a way unique to the relationship can soften hearts and make the relationship stronger.

No comments:

Post a Comment