Sunday, April 21, 2013

Healing what hurts

Your heart aches. You are upset. Something did not go right. Someone hurt your feelings. You are right, but then, you are wrong. You are right to recognize that you are hurt, but you are wrong to think that something or someone hurt you, for nothing outside of ourselves can hurt us.

What hurts us emotionally is our reaction, our perception, our thoughts and our judgment of things that happen in our life. Yet the things that happen to us are only triggers, they can't hurt us emotionally. We hurt because we hold on to what we perceive causes us pain.

We view life through the lens of our experience, our beliefs and our expectations. If we've been lied to in the past and we are lied to again, we hurt. If we belief that cheating is wrong and our spouse cheats, we are hurt. If we expect to a particular reaction from someone we love and we don't get it, we are hurt.

All feelings are valid. When your heart aches, don't judge your feelings as good or bad. Don't ignore your feelings either. What could they be telling you? Accept these feelings as something running through you, something that is not yours. Remember also that this is only a moment of your life, it will soon be the past. You live in the present. Decide that from now you will respond differently by making new choices.

Today is a good day to find quiet time to shift your thoughts away from what you associate with pain. Let go of your assumptions and expectations. Let go and let the healing begin.

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