Saturday, March 2, 2013

Thanks for the pain...

I felt powerless, lost, physically sick–body trembling, shallow breathing, weak. I doubted everything and boomeranged between a steady resolution to divorce my husband and running back to what I knew, to the familiar, even if it meant being unhappy and unfulfilled. I chose to end my marriage. I felt I was going to die.

For a few months I lived with these feelings. I stayed the course accommodating my heartache into my life. The anguish polluted everything. I made peace with the pain. I thought I had to. But then it started to hurt a little less. My thoughts started to drift away from the pain. And then one day I whispered Thank You, and everything changed.

That thank you was spontaneous and heartfelt. I really felt thankful for the courage I received, the lessons I learned, the new canvas and paint I was gifted. I could now choose to have the life I really wanted. I didn't have to paint-by-numbers anymore. I felt free. I no longer pretended to be happy. I was.

It took a while to get to this point, to this life...a life full of happiness, joy and enthusiasm. The pain of divorce gifted me with new perspectives and a chance to know what I want out of life. More importantly, this experience has led me to live sincerely, honestly and thankfully.

Whatever pain you are suffering through today you will overcome if you let love take over. Letting love take over is to open your heart truthfully. Do not look for reasons, justifications or who's to blame. Let the pain be, then let love be. Whisper a Thank You and feel the pain lift and your heart clear for the blessings to come...for new insights, new opportunities, new relationships, new experiences, new reasons to be thankful for. I now know that the key to being happy is to be thankful.

I wish for you the lightness I feel in my heart. I no longer pretend to be happy. I am.

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