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Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary...
I dare you. Say it three times: Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary. Will you do it? There was a time I wouldn't do it. I didn't want a bloody, angry, vengeful virgin coming after me. Ok, so I was nine years old and believed this story. And still, I know that many of us may be a little apprehensive about calling Bloody Mary out, out loud, just as we are afraid to call our fears out, out loud.
We may be afraid of calling our fears out because we don't want to face them–then we would have to deal with them or, more commonly, because we don't want them to come true. Yet naming our fears does not make them come true. Naming our fears can actually help us see them in the light of truth, for what they really are, as something that keeps us from peace, enjoyment, satisfaction and well-being.
Naming them is one thing. Naming them allows us to look at them and let go of them. Calling on them, though, keeps us full of fear, anxious, neurotic, troubled. Constantly calling on our fears in our thoughts, in the ways we express ourselves and in the ways we act keeps them true, brings them into our reality.
You may be surprised at the magic behind naming our fears. Many fears are dispelled just by calling them out. I used to be afraid of eating alone in public. Yep, I know. It sounds silly. It is silly. But I was. Once I named my fear, it went away. Once I named it out loud I realized how nonsensical it was. I know that there are more serious and stubborn fears. There are fears that terrify us and may be harder to banish, but they can be eliminated. It will just take time, effort and faith in your power to do so. When a fearful thought comes up, vanquish it with another thought. Keep a list of replacement thoughts handy while you get in the habit (believe me, it helps). If something we fear were to become true, then we will deal with it if and when it does. In the meantime, we need to remember that fear will not protect us, but it will hold us back from trying new experiences, taking pleasure in what we choose to do for a living, enjoying people, choosing happiness, being glad, tasting new foods, wearing new styles of clothing, taking salsa lessons and more.
So, what are you afraid of? Making mistakes? Looking ridiculous? Writing a bad novel? Poverty? Cancer? Aliens? Losing? Going bald? Call it out. Take the spookiness out of your fear. Lift yourself out of that haunted place. Your thoughts have that power.