Monday, August 11, 2014

Endless summer

I am not sure of where I am going with this. I have been struggling to write all day. I have done most of what I recommend blocked writers do in order to get out of the rut, even breaking my handwriting habit. And so, I have surrendered and come to my keyboard a cappella.

I can't seem to focus. The summer ends today, for us anyway. School starts tomorrow. A new beginning. Not only for my son, but for me as well. I am now the mother of a seventh-grader. Summer ends today...

I think of verse 16 of the Tao Te Ching where it says, "endings become beginnings." This ending becomes that beginning for both of us. I can feel a little excitement creeping in and a little apprehension. It's the alchemizing of one period into another. It's the releasing of all those experiences into this moment, the one that counts. It has just now hit me that my mourning the summer now gone–the weekends at the beach getaway, the travel, the time spent with family, the unawareness of clock-time, the spontaneous adventures, the bonding in love–and the fretting over tomorrow, this week, the semester and the new school year have kept me from experiencing the present, from enjoying today. The yearning for what has passed and the worry of what I have no control over have consumed our last day of the summer.

© 2014 The Soulcerer's Apprentice
It's one of my big lessons, to learn to live in this moment–to enjoy it, savor it and appreciate it with deliberate intention, on purpose. I have wasted this day. I intend not to do that again. All I can think of in order to turn it around, to metamorphose it, is to collect the feelings of joy, enthusiasm and passion for life, the emotion, the fun, the laughter, the memories of the wonderful rush of summer days and the presence I brought to those days. I want to bring that to the days to come, every moment, to make each one an endless summer.

Let us take today and only today. There's nothing we can change yesterday, and there's nothing we can do about tomorrow...except not to create regret for ourselves by not enjoying today, the only day in which we can choose to be happy.

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