Thursday, June 5, 2014

Riding shotgun

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I am usually the driver. I like it. It gives me a sense of control. I also like the rev of a powerful engine, the grip of the tires on certain turns at a certain speed, the boom of the bass through the sound system. I get to enjoy the fun of driving. Yet I also get to miss a few things.

In the past few months I have enjoyed that someone else is in the driver's seat. Now, I ride shotgun most of the time. I like this too. I especially like the rides back after our weekends away on the other side of this island. I get to see so much nature and architecture that I normally would miss when driving. I feel relaxed and inspired during these rides.

Allowing another to take charge takes courage. But allowing another to do it because they want to is allowing them to fulfill their dharma. It is also part of the language of love, as it is in our case. Releasing my need to drive, to know, to control allows me to appreciate, to learn and to grow. It also allows him to do what he is called to do for he is in the driver's seat in more ways than one.

Riding shotgun may mean that I don't always remember the route for someone else has driven it for me, but I am learning to trust that I am taken care of and that I will be guided when I need to drive. This is not about becoming a passive passenger, but about realizing that life is a beautiful ride in which sometimes we need to be in charge while other times our purpose is to accompany, be present and complete the experience for someone else. Trying to be in control all the time curtails another from their demonstrations of love in romantic, filial and other relationships. It also blocks us from seeing other sides of life and enjoying them.

Today, try riding shotgun…gaze out the window, gaze at the hands on the wheel, relish the conversation, hold hands, enjoy the ride.

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