Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Lie to me

What a fantastic show. We are now hooked on Lie to me. We recently found it on Netflix and now, one night a week, we curl up on the couch to watch an episode...or two. In the show a human lie detector solves all sorts of cases for different clients. Dr. Lightman, the main character, also mentors and teaches others under his wing how to detect when a person is lying. He looks at body language, speech, micro expressions, spontaneous reactions and general gestures to determine if someone is being truthful or not. These observations can be studied and memorized making anyone a capable of detecting lies in another person. There are some basic indicators that can be learned easily online or in a library. Yet most people don't use them. Why? Why don't more of us figure out, in an instant, if our friends, wives, neighbors, boyfriends, bankers, coworkers or children are lying to us? Because we are too self-absorbed, self-conscious, afraid and angry.

We are too concerned about ourselves, our needs, our wants, our reputation, our identity, our self-image and what we want to say next to pay attention to the person we are speaking with. Our fear and our anger blinds us. Some of us are forever trying to outwit the other and cannot see beyond their scheme. We also tend to see what we want to see. Actually, we don't see–we perceive out of our feelings, our thoughts, mental and emotional states and our moods. That perception could be wrong and can lead us to misread the other person. Add to these that fact that we don't listen. We prepare our comebacks while superficially hearing.

Today is a good day not to catch someone in a lie, but to see their truth. Let go of your expectations and presumptions. See, listen. Allow a deeper connection between you and another. Foster truth in relationships by observing what is real, by not assuming, by really beholding another–noticing, seeing, listening. Foster true relationships. It is also a good day too to let your guard down. Don't lie to me, let me see your truth.

Image found at dreamstime.com

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