Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Seeing red

Just as fear does not protect us from danger, anger does not avenge us, does not right perceived wrongs, does not make others agree with us, does not make others understand us, does not make us understand ourselves, does not justify us and it does not make us right. Anger increases the space between, the ill-will, blurs our minds, impacts our actions harmfully, it makes us unkind and takes over our hearts for in our hearts there cannot be two opposing emotions. Anger, because of its weight and loudness, overpowers.

I am angry. Believe me when I say that I am not beyond anger. I am so angry that I am blind. I feel violent inside–I want to throw this pen across the room. I have a few choice words two languages. I feel like grabbing my car keys and screeching out of here, but I won't. That would be congruent with my old ways of acting. I am so angry that all I can do is pray and meditate. It's what I have learned. It's what has helped me become peaceful, calm and nonviolent. It's what has helped me cope with triggers. I have friends who wouldn't believe how angry I get. They laugh. But it's true. I get angry. I just do not become enraged.

So how do we turn the tables on anger? I will share with you what works for me. Be thankful for something. Being grateful has this unbelievable effect that takes over your heart allowing for air and love to pop in. What else works for me? Let the other person be right. It's ok. This will only matter if your ego is more important than being at peace. Then, of course, there's meditation. When I am angry I use a tibetan bell meditation. The sound of a bell awakens a part of me that just wants to be happy and peaceable. It has this ancient sound that joins me to life. There are other types of meditation that work just as well. Sometimes I meditate focusing on the color blue. It keeps me from seeing red. But the one thing that I do that absolutely works miracles is prayer. When I am angry, I pray for whoever I am mad at–that I may see them, hear them, understand them, that my anger does not affect their field of energy in a negative way. This works miracles. Every time. Beware that the miracle may not be what you are thinking, but it is a miracle nonetheless.

Today is a good day to release your anger. Let it go to be alchemized into something beautiful. Do not act from your fear and pain. Do not try to justify it. Make a choice between being angry and being yourself, to others, to the air between all of us.

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