Friday, September 30, 2016

Watch and learn

One of my daily practices is a written meditation. It's not so much a journal, but more of my version Julia Cameron's morning pages. Every morning I sit and let my hand write all the thoughts I'm having at that moment. I have years' worth of beautiful notebooks, all handwritten into in blue ink. They are stashed away. "What do you use them for?" He was curious about the material I may find there. "Just that", I said. He looked puzzled.

Just that. That is all I do with my morning writing practice. It serves many purposes, but my intention when I write as meditation is to watch my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I don't reread these pages. But I do pay attention to them. It is one of the ways I watch myself.

There are many ways we can learn, grow and be better. We can read books, attend conferences, learn from a mentor or someone we respect. Yet we may learn more from ourselves than from anybody else. If we look at ourselves without judgment and with an open mind and heart, without blame or justifications, we may pick up exactly what we need.

We observe ourselves in memory, imagination, photos, journals, writing, déjà-vus, the feelings we get when we watch a movie one more time, the notes we find in books we read long ago, our dreams, our doodles. I recently watched Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Watching the movie took me back to the time when I first watched it. I remembered how much I enjoyed the movie then. I also remembered what I took for granted, what I liked, what I feared, what I hoped, what I wanted, what I was in a hurry for, the thoughts I had about life during that time. I started watching my younger self. I saw and understood that I move forward when I stop trying to control outcomes and circumstances, that my connection to Spirit sustains me, that I have evolved. I saw, too, how it is that I learn and that few things are insurmountable.

Today is a good day to watch ourselves and learn. It is a good day to start to pick up on the themes of our lives, our patterns, and recurring dreams. In watching ourselves we learn about our limitations, our potential, our misgivings, misperceptions, strengths, what are triggers are, how we love, how we fail, where our power lies. We will learn why we are so good at somethings or why we can't quite succeed in something we really want. Let us watch ourselves with wonder, trust, faith, curiosity, grace, acceptance, willingness, and appreciation in order to understand and grow, evolve and reach a better version of ourselves. Let's watch and learn.

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