Wednesday, September 30, 2015

When tired, listen

I am tired. I don't say that out loud. I don't admit it to myself either. It's an old habit, one that stems from perfectionism and a misguided perception of personal failure and ingratitude. If anyone close to me sees it and asks, I will say it. But I never volunteer to say that I am tired.

Today, I am tired...and incredibly grateful for it. I realize that my body is telling me something. It is telling me to rest. My mind is telling me to slow down. There was a time I was not aware of this communication. Today, I am aware and I am listening. The miraculous side to all of this is in my vulnerability, my willingness and my acceptance. In my vulnerability I am supported and cared for. In my willingness, my circumstances are aligning and everything that is important to me is flowing. In my acceptance, thoughts are light, creative and uplifting.

Life has a wonderful way of synchronizing what we want and need with our experiences and our circumstances when we pay attention and heed what are mind and body communicate to us. I wanted family togetherness, personal equilibrium, productivity, enjoyment of what I do, laughter and well-being. I listened. I heeded. I received what I wanted and needed. I now feel connected, recharged, aligned, clear-headed and focused.

What is your body telling you? Is is asking for balance? Rest? Or maybe more activity? What is your mind telling you? Do you feel like your dragging your body, cluttered with thoughts, overwhelmed? Listen. Respond appropriately. Be well.


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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Gravity Pulls

To walk on the moon. That is one amazing thought. I watch historical documentaries about astronauts in training and preparation for their missions in space. I find one of the most bewitching parts to be the zero-gravity flights. I have yet to see an astronaut in training or someone in a zero-g simulator not in pure joy. It must fascinating to be that weightless. It must be amazing to not be pulled by gravity.

What pulls us? What pulls us in burdensome ways? What pulls us that we can't be in joy? What pulls us down from higher states of being?

We try. I know. But the day goes on and we get pulled into drama, negativity, gossip, bad news, blaming, aggression, anger, fear, revenge, hatred, emotional outbursts, crisis and guilt. In those moments, fighting against the pull seems to pull us further down. Resistance makes us hard, not as in stronger, but as in difficult, indifferent and unsympathetic. It also makes us irritable, sullen and despairing. We lose our enthusiasm, our power, vitality and stamina. In those moments, the best we can do is acknowledge how we feel, breathe and choose another thought.

Today is a good day to walk weightlessly. When a way of viewing life, negative forces, pessimistic mindsets, others' attitudes and headlines of doom and gloom pull you down today, recognize the pull, accept how you are feeling (mad, sad, confused, tired, done-with, disappointed) and breathe. Choose another thought, one that will help you lift-off from the heavy feelings. Choose a thought of possibility, goodness, joy or gratitude. One breath, one thought at a time is all it takes to pull ourselves up.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

The broken vase

On closer look, the lovely floor at the bottom of the fountain is made from broken pieces of tile. The colors blend so well, even though they are of different styles, ages and materials. They have come together to lay under this water and create something beautiful. So do we.

We come with our rough edges, our sharpness, our brokenness to harmonize with one another, to create, to become part of something exponentially greater and more beautiful. We come to add to the beauty of another and in doing so become more beautiful ourselves. We come to find comfort and to give it. We come to rise and to lift others into awe. 

As the vase breaks, we see the splinters of potential and possibility in the broken pieces. Today is a good day to recognize our shatters, cracks and fractures in others and so come to unity. We lay, edge to edge, welcoming, making room, allowing, connecting, cooperating, engaging, understanding, accepting, abiding with each other, prospering. In our diversity, we become one creation, one opus. Perfection is an illusion. Yet it is real when we choose to see wholeness, the meaning and the purpose of our lives fitting together. 

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Friday, September 18, 2015

We the snobs

My eyebrows have become thinner in the past two years. This means I have to recreate them every day. Oh joy. They are one of those things I miss from my youth. Now, I have to navigate through the many options the beauty industry has to offer. And so, I recently made a trip to the makeup department of a large store. I found a product that I thought would do the trick and, there I was, squinting, trying to read the 6-point font on the packaging. An employee approached me and asked if I needed help. Yes, please. I asked him what was his professional experience with the product. What do you mean? He said lifting one eyebrow while shifting his body weight, crossing his arms and pursing his lips. I wanted to know about its quality and if other customers were happy with it or if any had returned the product for a refund. Well, that's because they clearly don't know how to use it. They are amateurs. He sassed. I stood there for a moment. We were talking brow powder, right? What was this chip on his shoulders about?

We become so stuck-up about what we do, about our field of expertise – law, science, literature, medicine, auto-mechanics, finance, public relations, creative arts, language arts, insurance, nutrition, politics, cosmetology, occupational therapy, fitness, research, architecture, yoga, meditation and spirituality, among others. We get wound up when others don't understand something we consider basic or obvious. Few of us stop to appreciate what a beautiful thing it is to share our knowledge with honor and love. We fail to remember that knowing what we know is about putting it into practice and sharing it. It is not about belittling, chastising, shaming, humiliating or admonishing another for not knowing what we know. We become snobs.

Knowing what we know is part of our purpose and when we act towards others with condescension, we disconnect from our purpose. When we look down on others we limit our growth and the fulfillment of our path and all of the dimensions of our Self. When we act with superiority for what we know, we separate ourselves from others.

What if today we understood when another is not aware of something we are, does not know something we do. We do not need more arrogance and know-it-alls. If the opportunity presents itself, let us share what we know with generosity of spirit. If there is no such opportunity or reception, then let us remember to extend kindness, patience and non-judgment.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Change comes about...

Sometimes we don't change because we get tired of life as it is, but because we get a taste of something good, better. We experience love, generosity, grace and are awakened to another possible way of being in the world, of participating in life, of experiencing others and ourselves. It feels like joy, like happiness, like something really good. Some of us have hit bottom, some of us have not, yet we have felt the wanting of something richer, nobler, more satisfying and fulfilling. We have somehow allowed some of it in and now we know better, we want better. But we don't know what to do. What we do know is that life as it is is no longer acceptable to us. We want more.

We may be tempted to make dramatic resolutions, intentions to change, grand gestures and take radical action. Yet, for now, we will do none of those things. For now we will surrender to this great feeling, this knowing, and trust it. We will nurture it and get clear on what we want. We tell no one. We don't explain or justify. We clarify, set our intentions and work through what we are afraid of. We create a vision and keep our focus on it. We come back to it every day remembering our feeling of something better. Obstacles start to fall away and a path unfolds before us. We walk it. We allow that taste in over and over again until it is our new life experience. And then we change. We become.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Friday, September 11, 2015

Wait and see

He raised his voice at me. I turned on my heel and walked away. I could still hear him back in the kitchen where I left him saying things under his breath, slamming drawers and cupboard doors shut. Angry, seething, I went back in there to engage in the argument. It was on. He was mistaken and I was going to set him right. But when I got there, I looked at him, took a deep breath and walked away. All I had to do was wait and see. It was a miracle.

I inherited his temper. My dad and I have short fuses and we can argue like the best of them. We know which buttons to push. I can't remember, though, our last argument – and that was the miracle: the recognition of the impermanence of the argument, of our behavior and of our perceptions, the letting go of my self-importance and self-interest. In that moment, I realized that none of what was happening was real and that it too shall pass. And it has. I was able to see through to my dad – a man I love, respect and admire. A man who, just as radically, forgives.

Today is a good day to remember that only what love holds is everlasting – kindness, respect, compassion, forgiveness. Everything else – our issues, misunderstandings, circumstances, points of view, justifications, whether we are right or wrong – is impermanent. Releasing our hold on what doesn't matter opens us up to what does – peace of mind, harmonious relationships, joy of life, well-being. Next time you are in a confrontation with anyone, whether it is someone you love or a stranger on the street, wait, let it pass and see.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.


Wednesday, September 9, 2015

This is not a drill

This is not a drill. This is not a false alarm. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is a moment of action. In this moment, we put into practice everything we have learned on this path.

When our ego takes a hit, as in being excluded from a celebration or from an opportunity, find ourselves in conflict, as in having an argument with another, our teenager breaks curfew, our neighbor mows the lawn at 7 am on Sunday, the girls at the office start a gossip session, our husbands drink out of the milk carton, we get an email from our boss at an odd hour with an unrealistic demand, get cut-off in traffic, lock our keys inside our house, we don't get the news we are waiting for or our day doesn't go as planned, we don't react in our old ways, we respond using the tools we have learned along the way for this is the real thing. This moment is real. We don't pretend anymore. 

The moment to act with grace and a new awareness is not only in moments of responding to an external provocation. The moment to act with higher wisdom is also the moment in which we can choose not to fall into negativity, not to procrastinate our goals and the actions leading to achieving those goals, to have confidence in what we believe and a conviction in the course we have set for ourselves. This moment is one in which we exercise our ability to choose better, to act from a place knowledge, love, understanding, appreciation, strength and faith, acknowledging that all is well. 

Today, realize that this is real, that this is not a drill. Life is happening. Do not react unaware of your power to choose and act from your highest self. Today, act with patience, kindness, compassion, awareness, generosity, confidence, appreciation, responsibility and thoughtfulness towards others and yourself. We don't plan on doing better tomorrow. We do it today. 


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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Backwards Meditation

I have John Mayer's Your Body is a Wonderland stuck in my head. My body is a wonderland. Yours is too. The chorus in this song reminded me how connected my body is to my mind.

A few days ago I was very busy. We were moving, my graduate courses began, I had a book to proofread and get to my editor, my son had appointments I needed to get him to, new phases are beginning at work that are exciting and require attention and a storm was coming which we now had to prepare for. My head was all over the place. At one point I noticed I wasn't breathing. Not properly, anyways.

Our bodies tell us so much. Our bodies know when we are out of stasis. That lack of balance can lead to chronic headaches, sleep deprivation, fatigue, increased heartbeat, muscle aches, nervous fidgeting, suppression of our immune system, inability to concentrate, skin irritation, inflammation in our joints and changes in appetite, among other ailments. Many times, before we are aware that stress and anxiety are overwhelming us, our bodies already know. We should, then, become attuned to our them.

When my breath became shallow, I became clumsy and spastic. I made silly mistakes and kept forgetting things. My energy became uneasy. My mood suffered. My body was telling me that I was thinking wrong.

Today's meditation is meant to increase our awareness of our mind-body connection and to bring us back to equilibrium. When you feel your body tell you that you are out of balance, take a few minutes to practice this meditation to come back to center.

Breathe.

Sit comfortably.

Place your right hand over your heart and your left hand over your solar plexus.

Breathe.

Close your eyes.

Think of something that worries you. What bothers you? Is it money? Is it work? Is it your family? What is causing stress for you?

Stay with these thoughts for a moment.

Feel the rhythm of your heart change in your hand. Feel your heartbeat increase as you think of your problems...

money
issues you are having with your children
you have no time to do everything you have to do
the plumbing needs fixing
the interest rate on your credit card is too high
your supervisor's lack of respect
you are not getting along with your husband
your house looks like it will be in an episode of Hoarders
your tired by 9 am, everyday
you can't seem to catch a break
the cable man didn't show up
your computer is fried

Feel your mouth get dry.

Feel your left hand barely move as your breath stays superficial.

Feel your hand over your heart get clammy.

Your body is reacting to your thoughts.

Now, take a slow, deep inhale. Count silently to three. Exhale, slowly.

Keep your hands on your heart and solar plexus.

Breathe slowly and gently in. Breathe slowly and gently out.

Bring your thoughts into this moment.

Breathe.

Focus on your breath. In... Out... In... Out...

Feel your heart slowly settle.

Breathe. Keep your mind on your breath. In... Out... In... Out...

Feel your abdomen rise with the breath.

Breathe.

Feel it empty with your exhale.

You are here. Now.

Your mind and your body are connected.

Breathe.

Stay for a few minutes. Stay with your breath.

Stay a little longer.

Feel your body sway lightly.

Breathe.

Feel the lightness of your body. The heaviness lifts.

Breathe. Feel the breath in. Feel the breath out.

You are now centered, composed, serene.

Appreciate your body. Appreciate its wisdom.

Breathe.

Take this tranquility wherever you go.

Be. Go.
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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

"How rude!"

"How rude!" That was my reaction. I expected a different attitude from her because I was in a good mood. Yet the woman I was dealing with was not. Well, then, neither was I afterwards. However, as I drove away, I replayed the exchange in my head and realized I was not being fair. She was not really rude, she was just serious, matter-of-fact and not cheerful. In short, she was short with me. And there I was, judging.

We form opinions, mistrust, make assumptions and even make up stories to explain other people's attitude and behavior in order for them to make sense to us. He was born with a silver spoon. Her husband doesn't pay attention to her; he must be cheating and she knows it. That kid is trouble; he is probably off his meds. She has a chip on her shoulder. He thinks he's better than everyone else. These are some of the tales we make up – and spread – based on our limited interpretation of others. We even take it further. We look at others with squinty eyes looking for their hidden intentions. We become defensive and create doubt in our interactions. We assume we are being lied to, taken advantage of, that the other wants to win one over us or take something from us.

We fail to see that the other is just as confused, fearful and insecure as we are. They may sound sure of themselves. They may even act it. That's because they want to create what they think is a good impression, do not want their insecurity to come through or believe that this is the way they should act. We respond in ego in return. This clash of egos creates more cynicism, misunderstanding and separation. It is us versus them mentality. There can be no real collaboration as long as we continue to think this way. While we think the other wants something and we in turn want something ourselves we will not fully come to peaceful solutions to business negotiations, changes that must be implemented in our communities, disagreements between neighbors, conflicts between nations, tugs-of-war between divorced parents, discord in employee relations, standstills, opposition between groups that want the same thing, disharmony among family members and friction in every day interactions with others. We will not give rise to the most creative solutions we are capable of. We limit what we offer. We can't do better because to reach our level best ideas requires openness of mind and of heart, it requires giving up egoic thinking, fairness, that we see through the eyes of the other and that we revise our intentions to include well-being for all involved.

Today is a good day to stop ourselves at the point of criticism and try to understand the other. If we can't, then let's stop there and admit that we are judging and ask for guidance and help. A silent request of surrender and willingness. Aid will come. As will grace and a feeling of peace. Let us not take others so personally. Let us today come without defensiveness, see with fresh eyes, act from a place of gratitude, a willingness to participate in making things better and enjoy what we give and what we receive in terms of growth, expansion of our spirits and increased well-being.

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© Millicent Maldonado and www.soulcerer.com, 2012-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.